Girlfriend of 8 years had an affair with a guy she works with. She said its over but I caught them having lunch together at their workplace. I shouldn't assume they are doing nothing more than eating lunch but I still got mad and even confronted her. She claims nothing is going on. I left there upset and called up her workplace and spoke to him. I asked him if it's over between them and first he said "sure". Unsatisfied with this I told him that I needed a "Yes" or "no" answer and he replied with "Thats something you need to talk to her about" and hung up on me (which just earned him a definite beating in the future).

I feel disrespected and hurt by her still talking to him. She was really into this guy and I know it and her reaction about calling it off with him has been no emotion or talk. Almost non-existent. And if I bring it up I'm either bothering her and told that I won't ever let it go and/or I feel too pushy maybe... or opening up a fresh wound again.

Its hard for me to be certain its over. I can't tell if its just me being insecure or a gut feeling. I don't want them to talk at all. If its over between them then I don't want her talking or any type of contact. I feel like she doesn't care about my feelings on this subject. Should I tell her absolutely no contact with him? I know how I feel and that's what I want but she wants to be friends with him. Am I selfish or am I right by telling her no more contact?

This is a tough one, but to be honest, I would just be gone.

I have the same thought but I don't want to be wrong about it. Anybody else out there have suggesttions?advice?

The thing is that, she should know better than to be having lunch with somebody that has caused a disruption in the relationship... its very disrespectful for her to continue a friendship with a man that she knows whom you dislike

Its very cliché to say that your gut feeling is correct but in a lot of cases it is correct... I think you may want to discover more about what may be going on... it will be tough for them not to interact since they work at the same place.

No.You are not at all selfish.To me,your telling her not keep any contact with him won't help.Nothing will help as it appears from your case.You need to be careful about your feelings.

Frankly speaking your girlfriend doesn't respect your sentiments.Rest is up to you to decide.

Best wishes!!

You two are not connected at the hip if you are just boyfriend and gf; eight years of same old same old. How come you two have not tied the knot? I don't bame her for straying. She is not committed to you without a promise. So make yourself scarce fr now, or like forever