I pay month to month and my landlord calls on the 2nd or 3 rd and demands the rent plus a late fee. I thought there was a 5 day grace period am I wrong?

You are wrong, there is no "grace period" beyond that which the landlord may give you in the rental agreement. Rent that is due on the 1st is late on the 2nd. In fact it is suppose to be paid BEFORE the 1st but no latter. Many landlords allow extra days before charging late fees but there is no requirement.

Chuck is correct, a LL can allow a grace period if he likes but the rent is due in total on the due date and fees can be attached anytime after that date.

Why would you delay paying? A month to month landlord can raise your rent, terminate the tenancy with 30 days notice except in certain places, and generally make your life miserable. Anything you heard about days after the first is the days it takes for mail to get to the landlord, but postmarked on or before the lease date.
A happy landlord gets to pay HIS mortgage on time and not pay huge late fees.
He will fix things, not raise the rent, and be good to you. Try it!

From Renting 101: A primer - NWapartments

(Unlike other states, Washington has no law allowing a several-day grace period. Rent is due when it's due.)