My boyfriend lives in another country. We've been friends for around 3 years, and started dating about 4 months ago. We started dating when he was visiting, and then I visited, and now he's visiting me... only I really want to break it off. Long distance is ROUGH, and I found myself during the 3 months we were apart losing a lot of my romantic interest in him. My emotions have sort of returned full circle back to friendship, and I feel like I'm lying to him by staying in this relationship. I've tried to make myself keep feeling for him, but there's only so much I can force it. For the last month or two I've been miserable.

I didn't want to break up with him right before he came to visit (he has a lot of other friends here besides me, and I didn't want to make him cancel, also because of how expensive it would be) and now I don't want to break up with him while he's here because it will ruin his vacation. I know it will obviously be preferable to do it in person, but we've got another week before he goes home and a lot of other mutual friends are coming into town to see him, and it will just make things an awful mess. I also obviously don't want to drop it on him right before he goes on a 9 hour flight back home.

He's not stupid and knows something's wrong, and is getting increasingly frustrated by my being distant and a bit depressed. I don't know what to do right now. No matter what, it's going to break his heart and I'll be the bad guy in my group of friends for a while, but every day that goes by I feel more miserable and racked with guilt, while telling myself it's in everyone's best interest that I wait until he's back in his home country before I tell him. I think things are probably going to blow up before we get that far though. If he asked me outright if I wanted to break up, I couldn't lie to him. The mutual friends who are coming this week are also going to be on their vacations to visit, and it would suck for their trips to be all about our breakup, which is inevitable if it happens first, regardless of if I offer to stay home the whole time they're in town so they can hang out with him alone, and probably talk about how awful I am for dumping such a great guy. The whole thing is a giant mess and I feel like I'm stuck pretending to be his girlfriend until something breaks.

I would really like another opinion, or some advice.

My ex broke up with me over cam, 2weeks after my visit. We were also in a long distance relationship. I wish he had the guts to do it face to face during my visit. This way it felt like the relationship didn't mean anything to him.

I would save him the time and money and just break up, don't wait for him... he will greatly appreciate the money he saved and it will be the only positive in this whole break up

There is never a good time to break up, but its best to let your partner know as soon as you know. Anything less is dishonest, and will save no hurt feelings. Break ups suck whenever they happen, so be straight and honest about it.

Do not drag this and make it more difficult.. more this prolongs, more painful to severe..
Plans can be altered, tickets can be canceled..