How can I help my boyfriend cope with the loss of his teenage son. He is dazed and confused, angry and lethargic.
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How can I help my boyfriend cope with the loss of his teenage son. He is dazed and confused, angry and lethargic.
There is know real way you can help someone who lost a child because that is something they have to work out there self I lost my little girl about 3 years ago and it still hurts but you learn to cope with it just be there for himQuote:
Originally Posted by keli
The only way to cope with your boyfriend lost is just been there for him... that is really all you can do...
Absolutely right there is nothing you can do - this is his own personal journey that will last forever. Just be there when he needs to talk - but don't force it! - be gentle with him he won't know whether he is coming or going for a long time yet. He will inevitably rethink his whole life will - be understanding of that. And don't tell him that time is a great healer or any of those sayings that people say. He has lost his child and his life will never be the same again. He will very slowly adjust to life without his boy and one day be able to take about him without the searing pain but a hole has been left in his life that no-one will ever fill
Take care
I disagree when I read there is nothing you can do. Your BF is depressed and rightfully so. It can and frequently leads to clinical depression which may require grief counseling and short term medication. The grief may never leave but it will lessen in its immobilizing impact over the years, Your BF needs your help, understanding and support for the next several years. If the lose is more than a year you or he might bring up the topic of grief counseling.
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Originally Posted by molly19700
Very good answer. Just be there for him. Best of luck and I'm sorry to hear about his loss.
I have to agree with Ballenger on this one. Grief counseling is very much needed. The loss of a child is something that is unfathomable if you have never experienced it. It is crushing when we lose a child. Very difficult situation handle on your own. Your BF sounds like he needs some professional help to get him through this and, as much love, support, and understanding as you can muster.
My daughter died at the age of 15 due to a heart abnormality that went unnoticed by the doctors. This happened 15 years ago and I am still feeling the loss. Sometimes I think grief is like a learning disability. Nothing can make it go away but you can learn coping skills you never knew you had.
I am so very sorry ballenger. You summed it up so beautifully. You never get over the loss, you just find ways to deal with it, and move forward. There is always a piece of your life missing. I hope keli will get these updates and, if her boyfriend hasn't already searched out some help, he does so at her urging.
You can do some things..
You can watch and see that his depression, sadness, moods do not get to a life threatening situation. Being around him a lot you could yourself call a counseling group that deals with grief and loss, you could ask them to suggest anything that you could do, and suggest that he goes. Asking for help like you are is very wise, as losing a child is the number one stressor in life. (As far as most professionals agree)..
My sister lost her 12 year old son in 2000. This has been a life changing event for all of the family. I sat with my sister for weeks on my front porch and did absolutely nothing, but set with her. She went through a whole range of emotions that has lasted for years and years now. But she is better and she will tell you that it does get easier to cope with after a long time, but the pain never goes away.
Well u should show him for every bad thing there will be another to make it betterQuote:
Originally Posted by keli
just tell him that you want to talk to him. Talk about things that make him happy. Maybe take him out somewhere fun.. like out to dinnerQuote:
Originally Posted by keli
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