Im not sure how to aproach my situation. A few days ago my ex and I started up contact again. We went out for 3 years we broke up 4 months ago prior to this we only talked 4 times and were on somewhat bad terms. The breakup was mutual at the beginning but I let her know later on that I would like to get back together. A month after we broke she met a new guy and they started going out.

A week ago I was partying with some buddies and got smashed. I woke up the next day with lunch plans with my ex. Reading through my messages I pretty much said everything I felt towards her that you shouldn't tell your ex, I love you, I miss you, I want you back. All that good stuff.

So we went out to lunch. It was fun not awkward at all we were laughing an playing the whole time as though a beat from when we first started talking hadn't skipped at all. Since then she has been texting me every couple days to see what I'm up to or to just talk. Since I have been going out having fun and all that goodness. Within each conversation she lets me know that her boyfriend would not like that we are talking. I to me its just us talking. Im enjoying being single going out and all that. But at the same time if she didn't have a boyfriend I would probably be hanging out with her a lot more. When we hung out she told me that he's always busy and he never like to try new things. To me I feel like she's not happy in her relationship. I called her out on this and she denied it but it probably wasn't the best move to be made

My deli-ma is I don't know what I should do. I realize that I need to have somewhat of a hands off approach that I can't mess up the relationship nor do I want to. But at the same time I would like to keep contact with her and still remain friends and see if anything happens in the future.

Going into the lunch she knew how I felt about her yet accepted, and after lunch we have been slinging messages back and forth. Any suggestions where she stands and what's going on?

If you have your eye on getting back together at some point, it will make it challenging to just be friends. She is in a relationship, and whether she is happy is beside the point. If she knows her boyfriend would not be happy with her talking and meeting up with you, then she shouldn't be doing it.

Consider your thoughts if you did end up back together to find out at some point she and her boyfriend were talking and meeting each other without your knowledge? Would it make a difference to you if he was now the ex-boyfriend?

Maybe she likes you and the boyfriend. Maybe you are just a friend to her. Maybe she is sort of testing the water to see how things go with you before she makes a move to end her other relationship. Maybe she just doesn't know what she wants.

Consider stepping back quite a bit. Be friendly if she contacts you, but avoid meeting up, and keep conversations short and strictly platonic. At the front of your mind should always be the knowledge of her being involved with someone else right now. Later on, who knows what may happen.

If it proves to be too difficult, then go back to letting her fade into the background and you continue to move forward enjoying being single.

Yeah that what I was getting I'm just kind of stuck how I aproach talking to her when she contacts me. It wasn't the fact that she knows her boyfriend wouldn't like it it's the fact that she contacts me first and then says this. To me its kind of like hey lets talk but then she wants to see if a boyfriend get in the way of us talking. So far since I've told her hey we I'm going out id love for you to join but you having a boyfriend limits what we can do. To me her new boyfriend is a complete rebound who likes nothing that she like and is always busy. We broke up because at the time I was constantly busy we hung out 3-5 times a week she told me last week she only sees her current boyfriend 1-2 nights a week and that they never go out and when they do it's a struggle. I guess what's got me is how do I step back as to make it look not like I'm completely removing myself but at the same time I don't want her as though I'm a fall back guy. Im perfectly happy now, I go out I talk to people but I just would like to eventually have some kind of relationship.