I am consumed by doubt and contempt. Please help...
Seven months ago my boyfriend broke off with me under family pressure. In the next two months he sent me a few cold emails stating the relationship was over. Some of these emails were advised by his friend and family members. I was devastated--you know what I mean if you have been through the same, because those feelings were hard to put in words. I lost 5kg and for several weeks my mind and body stopped functioning. I finally collected myself and decided to move on. Then he called. We met again and started seeing each other. He said he loved me, regretted what he did, and wanted to make up for me. We live in a different city away from his family so the relationship is somewhat protected (for now).
Needless to say that I am very attached to him. So much so that I put up with the cruel things he did to me over the last summer. I want to be with him, but in the meantime, especially when I am alone, I also feel desperately unhappy.He had a brief relationship with a girl when we were apart. I demanded knowing the details of that relationship and what I found out broke my heart. Although he ended that relationship eventually, there were about three weeks when he was still talking affectionately to the other girl.
In the past two months he has treated me well. However, I am often torn between conflicting feelings. There are moments I really resented him and moments I really loved him. It is hard to concentrate at work and my sleep is affected.
Please advise... I much appreciate your help!