Hi. I had a missed miscarriage, I thought I was 11 weeks but the baby stopped growing at 9. My Doctor performed a D&C on me 3 weeks ago; the first week I barely spotted than I started bleeding (like a period), passed clumps of blood, then went back to bleeding. There were some days where I didn't bleed at all. When my doctor checked me he was happy to see the ultrasound letting me know that I didn't have much blood to pass; he could do it for me or I can let it go on its own. He also mentioned to me that my cervix is soft. This week Im pretty much spotting or nothing at all. Should I make another follow up appointment? Also what did he mean by my cervix being soft? And when can I have intercourse and use tampons again?

What did your doctor advise? Different doctors tell women different time frames for when they can start having intercourse again. I was told to wait a month to two months before attempting after a miscarriage, however I have heard that some allow you to begin immediately. I would listen to what your doctor suggests as he knows your medical history and the effects of your last pregnancy on your body.

Normally when you are pregnant, your cervix is firm, closed and long. It begins to soften and open late in pregnancy when the baby is ready to drop and your body readies itself to deliver. When you are not pregnant, the cervix is firm until ovulation when it softens.

Good luck to you.

He told me to wait 2 weeks but since Im still spotting (3 weeks after) Im going to wait till its done. Cause right if you have intercourse while you are still bleeding it could cause an infection? Him making the comment about my cervix being soft 2 weeks after the D&C.. I just don't understand if that's a good or bad thing.

Yes to avoid infection 2 weeks without intercourse or tampons is best. You need to allow time for your cervix to return to it's normal size and position. The soft cervix is most likely a result of the D&C. In a natural miscarriage, this is what the cervix would do, become soft and open. But since you had a missed miscarriage, and had to have the D&C the doctor had to dilate the cervix. Now the cervix is healing. Once it fully heals, and your body is finished expelling what is left, the cervix should return to it's normal position.

So is it okay to have intercourse if I am lightly spotting? Would it a bad thing? How will I know when my cervix is back to its normal size?

When the bleeding stops, the cervix should be fully closed and back in position. You are probably OK if it is truly just light spotting, but I would wait until it stops fully to be sure to avoid infection. Also be aware that you can quickly become pregnant again after a miscarriage, so if this isn't what you want, be sure to use protection. Good luck!

Thank you!