I am a bisexual white 30yr old man. I fell for a 28yr old black straight man. I approached him and made my feelings known to him. To my surprise he said that he has feelings for me. Due to my insecurities we are having major problems now after six months. He still likes to go out a be with women. That does not bother me as I do not see where a woman could ever be competition for me. What bothers me is that he does not show me the same kind of affection or attention he does with any female. Not to mention he does not know how to deal with his feelings for me. I mean I am the first guy he has ever been attracted to. I am scared and right now I feel so alone. Should I just break it off, rather hurt now than later type of thing. Or am I just trippin and need to be more patient with him?

Talk, talk, talk, ( heard that on Dr Phil today) but really talk to him.

He can't be totally straight if he did not reject you when you talked to him, It could be he has some feelings that way but for many reasons does not feel good about acting on them.

If he is really totally straight, you may as move on.

You do need to be more patient with him. If he hasn't been with other guys and he was a straight man, he just needs the time to get adjusted. I was like that when I first realized that I was a lesbian.there was this girl that liked me and I didn't know what to think because I was into guys. Then I noticed that I was enjoying myself when I was with her. So I decided to give it a shot. I was having so much fun kissing her and stuff but then she wanted to go further and I just felt uncomfortable on going to that stage yet. Now we have a great relationship and we're having fun. Guys used to be the greatest to me but as I spent time with my girlfriend, I was enjoying it more. Just give him some time to get comfortable with you. It may take a while but it depends on how long your willing on waiting for him. Good luck and I hope that you guys end up happy like I am with my girlfriend. Keep in touch

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Originally Posted by mindmaster

I am a bisexual white 30yr old man. I fell for a 28yr old black straight man. I approached him and made my feelings known to him. To my surprise he said that he has feelings for me. Due to my insecurities we are having major problems now after six months. He still likes to go out a be with women. That does not bother me as I do not see where a woman could ever be competition for me. What bothers me is that he does not show me the same kind of affection or attention he does with any female. Not to mention he does not know how to deal with his feelings for me. I mean I am the first guy he has ever been attracted to. I am scared and right now I feel so alone. Should I just break it off, rather hurt now than later type of thing. Or am I just trippin and need to be more patient with him?

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Hi friend

First of all I am delighted to reply to your problem as I can see very much of myself. So you are in a relationshoip with a straight man? Well I don't want to hurt you or want to put any suspicion in your mind but trust me a lot of straight people actually enters in a homsexual relationship because they might use them as a guinea pig. Ask yourself do you have anything that why can offer a great big deal to him. If yes then it might be smart because in the end you might end with a loss both emotionally and the one he take with him. Other reason could that he might be bored of having relationship with the girls and to my concern it seems like he could have been in the blue with girl that might have hurt his feeling and so he ended up with you giving himself a try with guys but at the end of the day he is naturally straight and what ever you do u can never change his sexuality he feelings for girls will always be there I know it sucks but I am the only person here who can understand this problem better because I am madly in love with a straight man. Just be careful and see if things are going great I bknow it hurst but you have to give him sufficient amout of time he is hetrosexual and cannot leave girls be patient only the power of your love can bring him back. So so so don't leave him be with him love him I wish you all the best for it.

It would be great if you could work on your own insecurities, and that I think it would give you a healthier and more realistic view of what others around you are all about. I don't know if your trippin' or not, but it looks like jealousy and control has your insecurities working' overtime. Calm down and spend some time getting to know yourself and what your about because you sure can't control what others do. Do you think talking to an impartial professional will help? I do if you cannot deal with the process yourself.

... hi dude.. just like your situation.. I am a gay totally in love with a straight guy.. actually,he's now my boyfriend.. but beside that he also have he's girlfriend.. my friends keeps telling me to break up with my boyfriend,bcoz I am a gay and that's a girl.. what do I have to erase the girl in my boyfriend's mind?? But it thinks me of.. is it impossible that someday my boyfriend will stick to me instead with he's girlfrnd?? That's why I still stick with my boyfriend.. I know it hurts when there are times that you think that your boyfriend have sam1 too... haaaaaiiiiiiiiiii... but I'm still in patient.. bcoz I'm sure that someday that my boyfriend will say to me that he loves me more thatn he's GF.. and now another trial came.. my BF will have aLso have a career shift near with he's GF.. wow! It hurtz.. LOng distance relationship.. but I will carry it.. or maybe we will carry it.. that's all.. thank you..

Please check the date before posting-the thread is nearly three years old.

At the end of the day, hetero and homosexual males are very similar in their lack of affection. You do not where your friend's Gayquotient may be. That is: WHERE IS HE AS A GAY MAN IN HIS LIFE. He may have recently come out of the closet and his close friends are still in the dark. Be patient. And find out more about gay men's GayQuotients here: www.gayquation.com/quotient