Why would a guy go back to a girlfriend who cheated on him with a couple guys and humiliated him in front of his friends and family? He got so sick after she left him that everyone was sending him GET WELL SOON CARDS. He told me he couldn't eat or sleep and lost like 15 pounds in a month, all the stress even gave him a urinary tract infection. She also left him for another guy, with whom she got engaged to later on.

He told me he wanted to stay friends, then change his mind two days later, started becoming very mean and nasty with me. I was so confused. And then I found out he was back with her. She was contacting him a couple months before we even broke up, telling him she still loved him an was thinking about him everyday, and that she was sorry and her relationship to this guy was unbearable. I know this because he read me all her e-mails. He told me I have nothing to worry about, he didn't care about what she had to say and that she is beneath him, and could never be with someone he cannot trust.

He also told me she is pathological liar and crazy drama queen, loves drama. But now he is with her!? WHAT! I don't want to ever be with him, but why am I so hurt. I feel so betrayed and used. He lied to me. I never saw this coming. I was so shocked, stunned, I felt sick to my stomach, like I was going to throw up. Just the thought of him makes me so sick. He is as bad as she is and they deserve each other. I mean doesn't he know she will probably do this again. Why would he go back to a woman and then turn around and be so nasty to a person who cared for him and was there for him at the lowest point of his life. So confused and hurt. I need to get over this soon.

I would be hurt and confused by being cheated on and left by someone that was cheated on and left too. Makes no sense, and shows no integrity. Sorry you won't get over this soon, until you realize that you dodged a bullet, and him leaving was the best thing that has ever happened to you.His words and action don't match.

How old are you all, and how long had he been dumped, and how soon after being dumped did you decide he was the best thing since bubble gum.

You say you didn't see this coming?? I bet you did, how long were you together?

He seems to have never gotten over her. Some people just don't learn from their experiences. An ex is an ex is an ex. There is nothing else in it.

I know you are people hurt and betrayed, but hey, why spoil your life for such a loser who doesn't even know what's right for him. Just immerse yourself in some cool activities. Hang out with friends and pamper yourself.

Oh and if he happens to come back after she's cheated on him again, do yourself a favor and don't take him back in.

Remember. Time Heals.

I'm sorry this has happened to you but it appears as though you were the rebound and he was not over this girl. Going to someone else when you are struggling to get over a person just does not work.
Time will heal this, just don't take him back if she cheats on him again.

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

I'm sorry this has happend to you but it appears as though you were the rebound and he was not over this girl. Going to someone else when you are struggling to get over a person just does not work.
Time will heal this, just don't take him back if she cheats on him again.

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Thanks for your answer. I was with him for almost two years, so I'm not sure it was a rebound. Yeah, I would never take him back... just the thought of him makes me sick to my stomach.

Well he apparently was not over her, so in that sense you were. I would imagine it would make you sick. Some people are just not worth the pain, but it will pass.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

I would be hurt and confused by being cheated on and left by someone that was cheated on and left too. Makes no sense, and shows no integrity. Sorry you won't get over this soon, until you realize that you dodged a bullet, and him leaving was the best thing that has ever happened to you.His words and action don't match.

How old are you all, and how long had he been dumped, and how soon after being dumped did you decide he was the best thing since bubble gum.

You say you didn't see this coming??? I bet you did, how long were you together?

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Thank you. I was with him for two years and this happened two weeks ago. I did not see it coming because he told me he can never trust her and only spoke badly of her. His ex was living with a guy and engaged to him and when she started h having problems with her fiancée, she started contacting my ex and telling him that she missed him... still loved him. I know this because he read me all her e-mails and kept telling me he doesn't care about what she has to say. So that's why I was so shocked when he went back to her after she left the guy she was engaged too. He lied to me.
You are right, I did dodge a bullet and I know it's a blessing he is gone, but I still feel very hurt and betrayed.

In time you will realize that only an honest person can be lied to and the hurt will turn to anger, direct at you, by you, and then be directed to him. This is part of the healing process, and no one can insulate you from your own feelings running its natural course.

This will teach you to deal with your feelings by acknowledging them. If you are mad tell yourself you are mad, know why, but do not act on those feelings because they will pass, and diminish with TIME!! Then will come the understanding, both of yourself, and your situation, and that's where through the experience we learn and practice self discipline where we know what to do about our own feelings, and control them, and not let them control US!!

Sure it takes time, and its work, but when control and manage our feelings better, we make better decisions, based on facts, and not just feelings. We have no control over anything but ourselves, our thoughts, and actions. No matter what life, situations, and other people put us through. I have been through much, but never been a victim.

Bad stuff happens to good people, but we deal with it, and thrive and survive by growing through learning experiences, and that's what you have been through, and as the emotional dust settles, you will see you are stronger for it, and have a better idea how to handle yourself through this if it occurs again.

Not only will you not believe so quickly, you will see things differently, and protect yourself better. I point out the red flag of being with a guy who was hurt by his ex, but did nothing to insulate himself from her. He never severed contact with her. He never lied about it, at least not as far as the emails, but you were in love so made the decision to believe without question.

I know this hurts a lot NOW, but as time goes, it will hurt less as you get healthy again, and mourned your loss properly. Best done with family, friends, and activities you enjoy when you are ready.

Don't worry, its your ex who will find out he is the one who blew a good thing, NOT you! Trust me stuff happens worse to bad people.

You were with him for 2 years! Good grieve, he's such a jerk.