Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Relationships (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=277)
-   -   How do I fix my relationship? My boyfriend is always angry? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=646791)

  • Mar 28, 2012, 07:08 PM
    mytwoheartbeats
    How do I fix my relationship? My boyfriend is always angry?
    I been with my boyfriend 3 years. We have two kids together. He always gets angry for anything.Like if he can't find something, or the kids cry too much, and if I ask a question twice, he says that he feels trapped, or that he just out of no where gets frustrated with me, or he gets mad at something else, and takes it out on me by fighting with me.

    And our sex life sucks. We hardly have sex. And when we do there's no foreplay or he doesn't ever ask me if I finished. And I always make sure I please him, and that he finishes. I think he is to busy watching pornos on his phone in bathroom which really bugs me because it makes me feel like that he's more into that then me. I get no attention. He doesn't think I know he watches that stuff. I don't tell him what bugs me because he will get mad, make everything seem like its my fault.

    I tried in the past to tell him how I feel but he somehow twists the story and makes me feel bad. I hate crying cause he says it annoying, but I'm really hurt and don't know what to do. I hide my tears because I don't want him to get mad but I want us to work.
  • Mar 29, 2012, 12:14 AM
    talaniman
    This will never work until he gets his temper under control, leave until he does. Nobody, not you, or your kids shoud be abused this way. Sneak out if you have to, or call a cop to escort you, just get the hell away from him.
  • Mar 29, 2012, 02:14 AM
    pearl_mysty7
    Hmm right I thinks it's a better idea.. leave him.. just think about your kidds they might get trauma.. or it may affect them mentally... the guy don't deserve the things you've been doing for him.. if he doesn't appreciate then leave... love yourself
  • Apr 1, 2012, 09:28 PM
    xxpolxx
    from your text its really clear that u are not willing to leave him. May be the reason is u love him or you depend on him, or u don't take this matter seriously, or u think this is life I can't help it or mostly u are thinking there will be no one for u if he leaves you. You made yourself a valueless person in this situation cause u only care about him don't care about yourself. You never raised your voice against him cause he is the MAN and u think he has the right to manipulate u, lead you, be bossy. This is complete normal for most of the old fashion classy women with low confident.
    just like others I suggest you to leave him this is the best thing for you to do.

    or, if u don't have any choice and you have to live with his this sort of attitude then wear a mask and be a BACK STABBING *****.
    sorry for the word but this is what u need to be. This is the tome you should sit on the driving seat without letting him know that u are the main controller. Let him think he is controlling you. For that u need to use your best weapon one by one. I think the best weapon to go control a man is SEX, but u said he doesn't seem to enjoy it with you, so change yourself. Make yourself more spicy.
    don't ever show him that u want sex, just dress gorgeously, sometime like strippers and go to bed without even looking at him, make your moves sexy, change your voice sexily, make sexy moans.
    start doing it very often, when he is turned on do different things to spice it up. I mean do whatever to make him love the sex.

    stop caring about him for real but just show him that you care about him. I mean talk about his health the foods he likes, the clothes he wears. Admire him a lot, but remember u are just showing off so try to be a little bit dramatic then normal.
    u may also use the jealous weapon, make an imaginary character and talk to him about its good sides, go very slowly. Talk about it everyday but again go very slowly. After a few days compare it with your man but make sure you make your man better than the imaginary character.
    as he likes porn films, u get some of those into your phone just to show him that u are also interested in porns. Talk to him about how good the porn films are but careful you won't talk about it directly u will pretend that it just came out of your mouth

    there are lots of manipulating techniques. Just let me know your man's type.

    and again its better to leave him.
    Take care.
  • Apr 1, 2012, 09:54 PM
    Tessie15cool
    Women shouldn't be treated this way you diserve better everyone does my parents do this a lot and us kids always hate it don't let your kids feel that way hope things work out talk to him
  • Aug 27, 2012, 01:57 PM
    samoanpua
    Girl, I hope its not too late, but you need to leave his . He does not love you. Nor does he love his children. He is also cheating on you and you need to see all the signs. You do see all the signs and I think you need help to leave. You've been together with 2 kids and he hasn't even proposed to you yet!

    Don't worry, your story isn't over. There's lots of help. But right now what you're telling your 2 kids is that's its OK for a man to treat a woman like this. Or, if they're sons... its OK to treat a woman like this. I think this man is more abusive than you're giving away and you know it. I know because I was in an abusive situation and they do make you feel like you're nothing. They make you feel like you have to do everything to try and please them and nothing will ever work. He doesn't love you.

    I don't want you to be the next story of 'a man kills his girlfriend and children" and "oh, but he seemed like such a nice guy" crap. And I'm sure he is. I'm sure he's the nicest guy on the planet to everyone else... except you.

    Please do this for yourself. You can still do it. There's lots of ways to make your life better and to be happy. When was the last time you were happy? And are you sad more than you are happy??? Think deep down because you and I know the answer.

    There's lots of shelters to protect women and children but they're useless unless you've made the decision to leave... and to stay away. Dont let his, "Oh I'll change. I promise, baby." crap bring you back. Because he will never change. Ever. Trust me. Please leave and do it for yourself and your children. Especially for your children.

    Umm... you should have just stuck to telling her to leave him. And what you've basically, was to tell her to be SOMEONE ELSE and shown her how to make him love SEX, not HER. This isn't some young college student. This is a mother of 2 who clearly is being abused. Read it again.
  • Aug 27, 2012, 02:41 PM
    backpack2389
    So to recap: He treats you terribly (angry all the time and inconsiderate of your wants/needs) and the sex "sucks" as you put it. You say you want this to work but why? Because of the children? It doesn't seem like this man, dad or not, could be that great with them if what you say about how he treats you is accurate. Furthermore, you say that you can't communicate with him or risk setting off his temper. Well, the beginning to any solution in a relationship is clear, honest communication. But, he's not willing to talk so you can't even get started. I think you should leave. Take your kids with you. If you think he'll react violently to you wanting to leave, then find someone that will help (like a cop, as was suggested earlier) but leave.

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:42 AM.