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-   -   Why did he cheat, how could he do this to me?? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=644738)

  • Mar 20, 2012, 12:01 AM
    elky266
    Why did he cheat, how could he do this to me??
    I found out today that my boyfriend, the love of my life slept with someone else three days ago. He was completely wasted and doesn't remember it at all and she swears they slept together. He's not a cheater but we have had some ruff times lately and its stress full but the night before this supposedly happened was had the best talk about us and we were so happy about our future. Then he does this? Now he is confused if he wants to be with me or if we should just call it quits. He is my whole world and not knowing if this actually happened I'm willing to work this out. HELP, I'm so lost and confused, I don't know if she is lying or not. Her story isn't all straight, but he can't say if he did or not because he doesn't remember half the night. Anyone have any good advise for me. I love him more than anything but at the same time I hate him for allowing this to happen drunk as **** or not.
  • Mar 20, 2012, 02:52 AM
    Silver Lining
    M not an expert, but I feel you better let it go,, forget it, if your not sure that gal is saying the truth,, she might be trying to break you guys up,, give your guy another chance,,
  • Mar 20, 2012, 09:16 AM
    talaniman
    Whilke you are getting all emotional over these events, bad as they are, the real issue is loss of control when drinking, and thats what must be addressed.

    He didn't just cheat on YOU! He cheated on both of you, and suffers as you do.
  • Mar 20, 2012, 09:42 AM
    Cat1864
    My first instinct would be to find out more about what happened that night. Were they at a party or does she say he picked her up at a bar? Do you know her? If so, does she have a habit of causing problems? Are there any other people who could shed more light on what happened?

    At this moment, I am more concerned about him getting wasted and losing half the night. Is this common for him or the first time it happened? If he has a habit of drinking to excess or it has happened more than once, I would be concerned about it happening again and something worse than possible cheating occurring.

    You say that he isn't sure about what he wants-if he wants the relationship. Do you?

    Whether it happened or not, do you think you can still trust him? Can you work with him to allow the trust to be rebuilt? If you don't think you will ever be able to let this go and not bring it up in later arguments, then let go. As much as it hurts, don't try to stay with him if it is going to end up with negative thoughts and worries destroying any positive thoughts and moments. Don't stay if you there is the thought of getting back at him or punishing him. Both actions will only make you feel worse.

    Take care of yourself and I hope everything works out for the best.

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