I've always felt that I was a balanced person when it comes to emotion and general mental health. However, recently I have been feeling like I'm not where I want to be in life... I feel like I've be making decisions based on what others think of me, and although many would say it has done me well, I can't help but feel discouraged now.

People have always thought of me as a smart person who always does well in school. So, I've gone straight from high school to an economics program in university. The thing is I hate economics, and I don't enjoy school like I used to. Even after trying my hand at other majors, I just can't get enthusiastic about any subjects in school.

What I want to do is move out, and far away. I want to go somewhere where no one knows me, or has any knowledge of my current identity, and start over. I want to live a life in which I myself (and myself alone) make the decisions.

I can't help but think this is running away from the problem, but I also don't want to deal with all the people in my life who would undoubtedly disapprove of any decision I make, other than continue in this economics program I despise.

What are your opinions? Is moving out a good idea?

Thank you for reading, as well as your input. I appreciate it :)

LOL, I think we all want to run away and start over fresh when we are faced with new challenges. Especially when it comes to preparing for the rest of your life, and you are unsure of which direction to take.

Lets be practical though, since the opportunity is now to be trained in something that will support you, TAKE IT! For sure, looking for work with no support systems, and little skills, in a new and strange place is no guarantee of success.

I say stay, and look closer at your options.

My opinion? STUPID idea. Here is why. When you first move out or into a new place... you have zero friends.. you don't know the area or have resources. In other words you have no safety net until you get established... if anything bad happens nobody knows you or how to reach anyone who does.

I do understand the feeling, and would be telling you a lie if I said I've never had it cross my mind before... and wanted to express to you in the storngest terms that you would be taking a huge risk in doing so. I've made several very long moves before... but even with those... I was never far from someone that knew me or was able to help me if something happened.

Never underestimate the value of that safety net even if you have never needed it.

You know I went off to south GA and started a pig farm before, guess what everyone that knows you has face book, cell phones, and you will then worry about what they think about you. Running away does not change things.

Deciding that you are now a adult and not a child, does. So you start deciding what you want.
You want to stop school, finish the semister and quit. But what do you want to do, that is what you need to decide, and how will you pay the bills, where will you live and so on.
Becoming a singer in a band for example is great, but seldom pays any bills for years, so you have to work a dead end job to make it happen.

Often college is the same way, many jobs we want, just require that silly piece of paper.

And Fr_Chuck made a good point that we are more connected today than we were even a few years ago... and its not just an expensive long distance call any longer... as it was when I did it, but if you need someone right there right now or in less than an hour at most... you don't have that.

And a point I failed to answer to was the school end... the money is spent.. likely you have student loans that will come due shortly after graduation... really, REALLY, give thought to finishing that degree before you make rash decisions... it will never be as easy to go to school than it is when you are living at home with few responsibilities.

Talaniman and Fr_Chuck, I appreciate the input. The last time I used this site was 2008, and I remember you two giving me good advice back then as well. It's good to see you two still active on this site.

And smoothy, thanks for giving it to me straight. No sugar coated bs, but still respectful. I see the stupidity in the idea, believe me. Thank you


Just a couple points:

First, with regards to finances, I am fortunate enough to have a family that can afford to pay my way through school. They would have course rather see me stay in school, but I've brought up the idea to them, and they are cautiously supportive. Both my parents left home at 18 and they wouldn't have had it any other way. After working summers and part time jobs in high school, I have enough money saved to live comfortably without income for about 12 months (although hopefully it would never come to that).

Secondly, I see how this looks (and kind of is) childish and immature. When you boil down the reasons I want to move, it is running away. I understand that I will never truly 'get away,' but that isn't exactly what I'm looking for... I just want to separate myself, and make my own life. And thanks to my family, I will likely always have that safety net, and you're right in saying I probably take it for granted, as I've never needed it.


What would you guys say to this:

I see how to just cut and run would be a rash idea. I'm now turning towards the idea of just taking a year off school. I could work full time, and take my time to make a final decision. I could still move away for the year, if I choose. I have until August to make that decision. I have the resources to move away, and just give it a shot, with the option to come back and finish school, if that is what I choose in the end.

I don't know if I can shake the idea without actually trying it out first... I'm just thinking out loud at this point. What do you think?

Thanks again for your time

My opinion here...

How much school did you have left again... A year? If it was me... I'd stick it out... the longer you drag it out the worse its going to seem when you go back. Particularly when you get to thinking... " if I had just stayed in I'd have graduated by now" point. And yes... I was no great fan of College when I was there either... even if I did like my course of study... I was just never a huge fan of school... but I also knew the importance of school at the same time... if you understand what I'm trying to say there. Sort of a love/hate thing.

Also the longer you stay away the greater the chance you are not going to want to go back and finish it off. So taking time off itself is risky... moving away for a year... and I think your odds of going back and finishing may drop by over 60-70%. Not good if you are staring at student loans coming due... and they will. I assume you don't have scholarships or grants that might be affected by a break... and assumed you are picking up at least a portion of this via loans. If mom and dad are footing the bill, they will be righteously ticked off at wasting their money if you don't finish (even if they don't tell you so directly)... thats a LOT of money that took a long time to earn.

Personally speaking... it will never be easier to slug it out and finish than it is right now... and yes... again... I understand the feeling of being sick and tired of school, in general at the point you are now. I've been where you are before.

Just remember... an incomplete degree is just that... 1/2 a degree has as much value in the job market as no degree at all. Unless you finish it... you've wasted your time and money.

And I'm speaking as someone that did have a break between one degree and the next one... and damn was that second one harder to deal with than the first one... not for courseload... but because of the change in mindset that comes from being away and living on my own.

Don't forget -- no matter what you do and where you go, you will be taking YOU with you.

How about signing up with a volunteer organization or two -- a hospital, a library, an animal shelter. It seems your focus is too much on yourself (yeah, I used to be your age and did the same thing). Finish college and then join the Peace Corps. Become a peer tutor in college (and get your degree while the coffee is hot). In other words, use your smarts to accomplish something for yourself as well as contribute to others' welfare.

Thanks smoothy and Wondergirl. I appreciate the help. I do volunteer quite a bit (Habitat for Humanity, Food Bank, Canadian Cancer Society, etc.), but I probably do focus on myself too much.

This thread has given me a lot to think I about. I appreciate the input, and all your advice will really assist in my ability to make the right decision.