My best friend got shoplifting for some food around $10 from a franchased store and charged with theft under $5000 a few days ago, this is her first offence. (she is a single mother without a job. The same thing happened last year, the police man just dismissed her without any paper work.) The policeman who gave her the notice told her she needn't a lawyer, she would be put in a diversion program and would not show on the criminal record check. Is that true? The other problem is that she is taking the final course now ( she prepared for 9 monthes and did pretty good) for applying a job, however, in the application form, there is a question: are there currently any charges pending, or have you been found guilty, pleaded guilty to, or been convicted of an offence under any law? And it warns that it is an offence to provide false information --- this made my friend crash down!! I know life is so hard for her and she cried this is her last hope to change the life --- I don't know what I can do for her. The police guy who took her fingerprint even told her not to put such information on the appication. Can anybody help?

Yes, charges are pending.

Police Officers should not give legal advice. Yes, there's a good chance she is eligible for diversion. However, if that first arrest/stop/whatever it was show up she will not be eligible.

She has been fingerprinted. Depending on the type of background check her arrest record will be visible.

This isn't her first offense. This is her second. The Police were called last year and she walked away from the charge? She was still stopped and apparently that stop didn't make an impression on her.

I'm not heartless. I know times are tough but single mothers can go to jail just like everyone else. She's got to straighten out her life by whatever means it takes. If you are her friend you will make that very clear to her. One of these times the Judge is not going to understand and she's going to be in jail with her child or children in foster care.

She needs to stop stealing.

Thanks a lot, but last year the police didn't charge her anything,no fingerprint,not go to the police station. And this time the police told her this is her first offence. She told me she won't do this again --- the heavy stone will be on her all the time and the dirty will with her whole life, that's enough. I trust she will change but just need one more chance. Are you serious she will be in jail? She called the legal aid, they told her it's just a small case and they won't accept. She called lots lawyer offices, most of them said she can go by herslf,and one even told her ask a lawyer to deal with it is a waste of money, is that true?

Is there anything that can help her avoid jail, such like a lawyer? That's too bad for her kid and her. This is totally a bad news for her. Please anybody can help?

She's at the mercy of the courts at this point. She knew there were plenty of available places she could have gotten help or food at... yet she decided to steal anyway.

Come on, don't say like that. She is a immigrant and really don't know where to get food, and she was too shy to tell us she need help. As I know, she is a very nice person always pleased to help the others--- I feel very sorrow about her. She told me she lost her job just because she was seriously sick, can only lay on bed for two days she called her boss the night before but at last the boss fired her. Please help her, support her or at least encourage her. She told me she definitely do wrong and going to pay for it, but need she pay it for her whole life? She is so depressed and we friends just want to warm her up and help her as much as we can!

She could ask someone... I know LOTS of immigrants... and they know more about where to get the handouts and free stuff than I do. This isn't the third world... help is plentiful and never far.

Sympathy only goes so far... adults are responsible for their actions. I'm sympathetic sometimes on the first offense.. depending on the circumstances... that evaporates on the second offense of the same type.

Thanks!

Thanks

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Originally Posted by prayer23

come on, don't say like that. She is a immigrant and really don't know where to get food, and she was too shy to tell us she need help. As I know, she is a very nice person always pleased to help the others--- I feel very sorrow about her. She told me she lost her job just because she was seriously sick, can only lay on bed for two days she called her boss the night before but at last the boss fired her. Pls help her, support her or at least encourage her. She told me she definitely do wrong and going to pay for it, but need she pay it for her whole life? she is so depressed and we friends just want to warm her up and help her as much as we can!

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This country was FOUNDED by immigrants who did not find that entering the US gave them a license to steal. She's too shy to ask for help so instead she steals?

Yes, stealing follows you for the rest of your life because you are an acknowledged, recognized thief - in her case times two.

Some of us who post here have gone through hard, difficult times in our lives. As far as I know none of us have resorted to stealing.

Why don't you, as her friends, get together, gather around, chip in and give her some financial support if she's too shy to seek assistance?

Thanks a lot. I will, as best as I can. By the way, my friend is not happy what I posted --- At first I just want to help her. Can somebody tell me how to delete?

Thanks a lot. I'll do as best as I can. By the way, My friend ask me to remove what I posted, can somebody tell me how to do that?

You don't delete it... in fact you can't, its part of the Terms of service.

Her name isn't on it anyway. Nor your real name... only the two of you know who this is really about. To the rest of the world, you could be almost anyone. We don't even know the region much less the city. THere are likely thousands of similar offences in your city alone every year... multiply that for the region, and the regions to the country... its like finding a needle in a haystack.

Thanks! It's my first time to post online, I think I did wrong although for good intention.

Well don't wory about it... had you posted real names we would have editied them out... or real adresses... at a city level.. you have gotten anonymity because I highly doubt her case would have garnered front page status in the newspapers so nobody is going to know it was her... unless they already know her and the specifics of her case... she has nothing to be concerned over, because even if someone across the street that knows her but didn't know the details that happened to be a member here and read this... would have no idea it was about her.

But for future reference... anything you type, or post online... you assume will be out there for a very, very long time. And you have no ability to recall something once its sent. This goes double true with revealing photos... which ARE identifiable to a far larger block of people than words alone are.

Can you kindly remove the post please? My friend is under great pressure, very weak and depressed, she feel life is meaningless and I made the situation even worse --- I post it without her consent, I totally do wrong. So can you do me a favour to remove it?

Not going to happen. I already explained why... all posts made remain to help others, this is how ALL public forums operate. There is nothing that identifies her specifically in this thread anyway..

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Originally Posted by prayer23

can you kindly remove the post pls? My friend is under great pressure, very weak and depressed, she feel life is meaningless and I made the situation even worse --- I post it without her consent, I totally do wrong. so can you do me a favour to remove it?

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Are you not reading the answers to your questions? When you signed "up" for AMHD it clearly stated that posts cannot be removed.

You are anonymous. She is anonymous. I'm not certain that you don't want the thread removed because you don't like the answers.

At any rate, no, it can't be removed.

Also, did you and her other friends come up with a plan to help her financially (and, of course, emotionally) through this difficult time? I realize she's in school, close to graduating. I trust she is not entering a profession where a criminal background will be a problem.