16 years ago I met the most amazing person while working at my first job. We had a lot in common then and still do today. Back then I was dating someone and when we broke up the first time, Shane and I dated for some time. We truly enjoyed being around each other and there was a connection there. My ex boyfriend came back into my life and our friendship had to end. About a year later when my ex and I called it off for good, Shane was dating someone else, so naturally I moved on as well. As time moved on, I got married and since have had three wonderful children. I have always remained in contact with Shane over the years just to keep in touch. I always think about him and what we shared. I miss being around him. He is now getting married and our last conversation was about his uncertainty in getting married. He and I spoke for hours and realized that the connection we had back then is still just as strong today. I have had major problems in my marriage with my husband and his alcholism and drug abuse. I have stayed so long with him because of my children, but I now know that Shane feels the same way as I do and we want to be together, but it is complicated. I know he loves his fiancée, and of course I love my husband, but we are in love with each other and I don't know what I should do.

Why did you broke up with Shane the first time? Because of your ex-boyfriend back then?

Now, if he wants to get married, there's nothing you can do about it. If he's not sure about it and you're sure he still has feelings for you, maybe you should do something... Maybe you're meant to be together instead.

Otherwise, I get a sense that you're not very happy in your marriage at this point. In this case, you should probably choose what would be better for you... (if possible). I honestly think you don't need my opinion, but you already know what you have to do (again, if possible).

Your problem started by keeping a dead relationship alive all this time, and a few problems in your marriage have you looking for a way out, instead of taking the necessary steps to keep your family together. That's what married with children is about, solving your own problems. Shane is getting married, now what? You both have been crossing the boundaries, so you both are confused. And a phone connection is no promise of a good husband and father. The bottom line is none of your choices as far as men go, has made you happy and you should be worried about the choices you have already made. Cut contact with the ex and work on your own marriage.

Shane wasn't sure with you and now all these years later he's not sure with his new girl. Looks like a pattern of Shane not being sure.

Oh yea, the grass is always greener on the other side. You are setting yourself up for quiet a risk. A lot can happen in 16 years or however long its been. I would be so despondent if I found out my wife was still beating around the bush about some old flame. Don't forget who you built a life with. The knight in shining armor always looks a little dented when you get a real close look. Exactly like the man who has paid his dues with you by staying with you this whole time. At least he paid the price for them!