My Fiancé is 20 and I am 19. He and I had a fight last night because he kept bossing me around, and being really rude. He later said he was tired, and for me to "leave him alone and get the Fu** out of here!" I went to our room to cry where he couldn't see me, and eventually he came to bed too. Well I tried to suck it up, but still was sniffing back once in awhile trying to be quiet... then he flipped. He yelled at me saying I'm worthless, drama queen, that he hated me, and then he didn't exactly hit me, but more like smacked my face and clawed it while shaking me. I got terrified immediately screaming, and I punched him to get him off. I ran to the front door and he told me to get out that he didn't want to see my face.

I was still crying, and looking for my keys, and he said " God SHUT UP! Are you f****** deaf or stupid?!" he came back after me but I jumped over our couch and ran. Then he went back to bed, and I left with my Doberman puppy who this whole time growled at him from between us.

I just came back home the next night, because I have no family, and no where to go. "Slept in car" he is ignoring my existence.

He's abusing you;you need to leave-get in touch with a women's shelter and get away from this guy-abuse escalates,so save yourself and get out now!

You need to find a way to get out of there. Nobody deserves to be treated like this. As was already said, he is abusing you and it will probably only get worse.

Get yourself to the nearest shelter so you can be in a safe supportive environment to learn to be independent, and have someplace to go. For sure don't go back to him.

You should have called the police and reported him, and still need to.
Whose apartment is it, his, yours or both ?

You do not need to be with him, either kick him out or move out yourself.

When the TWO of you started to fight, and it was obviously getting out of control. Why didn't you walk away then. I highly doubt this is the first time that arguments have turned physical or verbally abusive- on BOTH your parts.

The first time he said, "Leave me alone, and get the "f" out of here"- what did you think that meant? Why didn't you make the second decision, a better one, and leave.

He smacked your face, you punched him. You weren't smart enough to leave before things got physical.

IN NO WAY DO I CONDONE PHYSICAL VIOLENCE, but really- are you totally a victim here? Was he, prior to this event a sweet, kind, even tempered man who never had a problem with his temper- ever?

To give you the benefit of the doubt, let's just say this was totally out of character for him to smack/claw you?

The excuse of nowhere to go is bullfeathers. Get to your local women's shelter, police department, social services, etc. and get out. Surely in the year 2012 you know that much.

But, like you said, you went back the next night. I guess everything is OK then.

My boyfriend (really my fiancé but boyfriend is shorter to type) used to give me all kinds of affection and be so sweet to me. I know he is stressed due to work and college, but he has turned, quiet frankly, into a monster at times.

I work as well. I also cook, clean, do his laundry, keep house, run his errands, etc. Which I don't mind doing at all... that is, until he ignores me or treats me like crap just because I work 45 hours one week and I haven't vacuumed. He takes me for granted, I know, but leaving for a week once didn't help.

We also got a puppy about 2 months ago. It's a Doberman and even though whenever he yells at me, the doberman is on my side an growling at my boyfriend... he still gives the dog more affection than me.

I'm not jealous of the dog. I love the dog too -- he is really my only close friend. I just want to know WHY my boyfriend won't love me too? I do everything I can for him and I am a sweet girl.

I try to never show when I'm upset, and I rarely let myself cry in front of him (he gets pissed). I greet him with a smile at the door when he gets home from work every night and want so bad to hug and kiss him... he walks right past and spends 5 min on the floor with the dog who politely wags his tail then tries to escape him. Completely ignores me... until I make myself as small as possible and very quietly with no hint of whining ask him "baby can you please love on me too?"

Then he smiles and calls me stupid and gives me a quick hug and kiss... all the while telling me how ugly or fat I am in a sweet voice... I am underweight and I am fit. I used to be a beauty queen growing up... still have crowns. I ask him nicely why he does it and he just tells me to shut up and don't start drama.

I feel for you. I have to compete with four cats!

I'm thinking it would be good to stop with the neediness when he is paying attention to the dog. It almost sounds like sibling rivalry. You know the dog is in your corner. You know you are an amazing-looking woman. You know you are the one who keeps the household together.

Can you think of a more productive way let your guy know you want affection? And a better time? Let's rewrite the script.

Threads merged again, and edited/T


Stop trying to change this guy as even a monster can be sweet, but he still is a monster. RUN!!

Absolutely agree with talaniman - you said you were engaged, do you think any of this is going to change when you're married? Probably not, and then leaving isn't as easy as it is when you're just dating... you're only 19 - please believe an old lady(;))when she tells you that you have really only begun to experience life and SHOULD NOT waste your precious young adult years on someone who doesn't seem to appreciate it...

Thank him for ignoring you and leave. He is very abusive, both verbally and physically. You accepting it or trying to create an excuse "he didn't hit me, just clawed my while holding my face forfully" is a bad sign in your part. You need to have some self respect and value yourself. Leave, get some help, I believe other here have already recommend a women's shelter, I would second that opinion.

Think. What would you tell your best friend or a sister to do in this situation?

You deserve far better. End the relationship. Don't wait, don't discuss it with him. You will get badly hurt if you stay. Let a trusted friend or coworker know about it and get help moving out. Take care of it when he is not home, or contact the police so that they can escort you. Get to a shelter if you truly have no place else to go.