I have separated from my husband, but as the house is jointly rented he won't move out. We have two children together aged 12 and 9 and the atmosphere is having an effect on our children. My husband is bullying me, calling me names and being aggressive towards me. He has never hit me but he has thrown things and raised his voice knowing the children can here. This situation is making me very depressed as he is trying to make me feel so low I will voluntary move out myself and leave our children. I need his behaviour to stop as my main concern is our children. I want stability and security for them where there is no more arguments, which is one of the main reasons I ended our marriage. I need to know where I stand to reside in our house, where our children have been brought up in.

You would never forgive yourself if you left without your children; if the situation is intolerable, and it obviously is, then move you and the kids out to a womens' shelter until you can figure out what you want to do.

No, you can of course move out and take the children with you. And how exactly do you separate and live together ? But have you filed for custody of the kids and for child support yet, and if no, why not?

I have been to a solicitors but as we are still living in the same property they have advised me that they can't represent me properly with regards to a divorce and custody, the company I rent my house of also say I can't kick him out as its in joint names I just don't know what else I can do but a women's shelter seems to be my only option at the moment.

Is this a solictor you both use, if so, yes, it would be a conflict of interest for them representing you. Is this the case ? If so, go to another solictor that neither one of you use.

And yes, a women's shelter is a good option for you, and good luck sorting this out. I am assuming you are in the UK, correct ?

Hi tickle I am in the uk and the solicitor I went we have both never used it's the fact that he could open my post, my main concern is and I know it's only bricks but the kids have been brought up in that house, they have good friends which live a stones throw away and there schools are near so that's why I'm reluctant to move out

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Originally Posted by sdonoghue

Hi tickle I am in the uk and the solicitor I went we have both never used its the fact that he could open my post, my main concern is and I know it's only bricks but the kids have been brought up in that house, they have good friends which live a stones throw away and there schools are near so that's why I'm reluctant to move out

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I don't think you have the luxury of weighing your options if the situation is as bad as you say. The kids don't have to go through this mess hearing their mom maligned.

If the mail issue bothers you, rent a post box, then he can't snoop.

Move to an undisclosed location and take the children with you. File for divorce. Protect your safety and your kids. This "man" does not sound like a man. No man would/should talk disrespectfully to a woman, especially in front of children.

You would leave your chldren with an abusive man? You are obviously too upset (in my opinion) to think clearly.

Call the Police, keep filing complaints, get a restraining order. I realize you are in the UK but in that respect the system is pretty much the same.

I realize you can't just pick up the children, put all your belongings and furniture on your back and move - and hide in the process.

Do it legally.

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Originally Posted by sdonoghue

I have been to a solicitors but as we are still living in the same property they have advised me that they can't represent me properly with regards to a divorce and custody, ...

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Originally Posted by sdonoghue

... the solicitor I went we have both never used ...

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It is unclear why these solicitors feel they cannot represent you. Either

• you are not understanding what they said,
• they just don't do family law,
• they don't want your case, or
• the rules governing who solicitors can and cannot represent is more strange than I can imagine.

The only way you can get him out is to file for divorce. I don't understand what the solicitors tolf you and would suggest contacting a different firm.

Do NOT hide from him since that creates its own problems.