Ask Me Help Desk - Child support without visitation

The father of my child is very unstable at times and I'm looking to find info on how I can keep him away from my 15month son even though he will be paying child support.he has threatened to kill me and has pushed me and hit me and I fear he may become impatient with our son and abuse him.I'm just wanting to know how I can convince a judge that he is unfit

Wow. I've never been in this situation before but here's what I suggest you do. Did you ever confide in anyone, preferably not immediately related to you, about what was going on, and if so would they be willing to testify? And most importantly, did you file charges against him with this occurred? It will be a lot more difficult to prove his character is he doesn't have a recorded history of violence towards you. Regardless, I would consult with my lawyer and see how to best approach this issue because I still think that you need to attempt to take action against your husband so you can sleep better at night. If he's the type to threaten you if you said anything in court then you need to discuss that with you lawyer as well and I'd even suggest taping the phone call with him by either putting him on speaker and recording with a device other than your phone or if you have a smart phone (android for sure) then there are free apps where you can record phone calls. I know that's kind of shady but so is a man hitting a woman. At worse you may face legal action against you for recording a conversation with someone without their permission, but that's a lot better than having to worry about your son being the presence of your ex in the way that you described him.

He has threatened me and our son on Facebook and many people had seen it.I truly believe he needs a mental evaluation.we are no longer together,never married.he has a new girlfriend and lives an hour away.he makes no attempt to see his son.he always complains he has no money.he has no license so therefore no car.he has a job and his own apt.that's about it.

One minute he says he loves his son and wants to see him and the next minute he says he wants nothing to do with him that he has ruined his life and wants to sign over his rights.I just really want to voice this to the judge and have him believe me

The only way to stop him from getting visits is to prove he is a danger to the child in court, When he did any of this to you ( hurt) were the police called, are their police reports?

But even if a danger he can still perhaps get supervised visits

If the Facebook stuff is still there, print it off. That's first-hand source and it will therefore be very valuable to you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SoftSummer

Wow. I've never been in this situation before but here's what I suggest you do. Did you ever confide in anyone, preferably not immediately related to you, about what was going on, and if so would they be willing to testify? And most importantly, did you file charges against him with this occurred? It will be a lot more difficult to prove his character is he doesn't have a recorded history of violence towards you. Regardless, I would consult with my lawyer and see how to best approach this issue because I still think that you need to attempt to take action against your husband so you can sleep better at night. If he's the type to threaten you if you said anything in court then you need to discuss that with you lawyer as well and I'd even suggest taping the phone call with him by either putting him on speaker and recording with a device other than your phone or if you have a smart phone (android for sure) then there are free apps where you can record phone calls. I know that's kind of shady but so is a man hitting a woman. At worse you may face legal action against you for recording a conversation with someone without their permission, but that's a lot better than having to worry about your son being the the presence of your ex in the way that you described him.

Sorry, but this is not good legal advice. Discussing his threats with other people and then asking them to testify will accomplish nothing. That's third-party (hearsay) evidence - inadmissible.

Taping without the other party's consent is illegal in some States (States with a 2-party consent law) and can make a bad situation worse.

If the father of the child is dangerous you go to Court and PROVE he's dangerous using whatever means are available.

And if the question "Child support without visitation" means "Does a person have to pay support if he/she does not have visitation" the answer is, yes. Those are two separate things. One can be granted without the other.

The legal (and medical) boards are not the same as the discussion/opinion (such as relationship) boards. These boards are for legal or medical advice, and it must be correct if people are helped, not harmed. I realize you are trying to help, but incorrect advice just complicates things. For example, your "tape recording" suggestion could get this person arrested in some States. That same recording could result in a LOSS of custody by the person doing the recording.

Please don't post "sort of shady" quasi-legal advice. That's advising people to break the law in order to obtain their legal goal, and it's counter-productive.

Some of "us" here are working Attorneys, law school graduates, people with experience in the legal system, people who have great research skills. The law isn't about opinons. Unfortunately, it's about the laws.