I'm trying to break a cycle that makes it hard on people around me. How am I supposed to adapt to a life I want, when it seems damn near impossible to remember what I ate for lunch. Sometimes it makes me want to runaway and disappear, to escape from everything. How do I make myself not care like I do anymore, if that's what it takes then that's OK... How do I change who I am completely?

You cannot change who are you but what you can do is change the way you react and do things... This however is not easy as you already know... First; accept who you are and be happy with the person you are, then if you think whatever you do or the way you act is not what you want then it could be easier than you think only if you treated it once at a time..
Let's say I lie a lot with no reasons everyday and to everyone.. This is something lots of people suffer from and that because something in their past made them who they are but do not mean they are bad people, but people with problems. Now to solve such a problem; this person must first believe he/she wants to change, then convince his/herself that today we will not lie... Work on it and keep reminding themselves about it every 15 minutes and even if they can, to write it on a paper and keep it at all times, looking at it every 15 minutes and with time (Maybe a month or so) the 15 minutes becomes 30 and a week later become one hour and in the end; once a day just to remind himself where he/she was and where they are now in progress wise...


Hope this helps

What is it that you are wanting to change? Changing different aspects of your life are done in very different ways.

I think you start with a physical exam for that memory loss. Maybe there is a reason for it than can be helped or managed.