Dear Dr,
Sometimes I feel there is a trend for straight women to cross the line, In terms if their sexuality. I am 54 and have know my attraction to women at a young age. In high school I had hoped and prayed that theses emotions were just a sexual development issue. I was very attracted to boys and made out with them but never went further. I'm femme soft butch that can be interpreted as a Tom boy therefore boys were very attracted to me. My point is this, don't these women know who they are? I ran into a women I went to high school with, we exchanged phone numbers and I was nervous to come out to her, but she said she had already figured. I thought that would end the phone calls but it didn't. She is single with grown children, married twice and the last intimate relationship was six years ago. We both take excellent care of ourselves and look like we are in our forties and very active. We both love seeing a doing new things. I think she is gorgeous ! We have been hanging out for 2.5 years now. We see each other every day or we talk three to four times a day. These are the things this "Srtaight" women does, snuggles with me in bed, allows me to hold her while watching TV. She holds my hand while drive. Asks me if we had a baby together what would we name her? Goes with me to lesbian funtions, and feels very comfortable with people thinking we are together. She loves my affection and I never cross the line. No we have never kissed.
I told her I have fallen in love with her and I want more. She said she would have married me along time ago if she were gay. That she loves me like a family member and that she has no sexual feelings towards me (that puzzles me)? I just recently told her that if she does not have my same intentions then she needs to go because I am to weak to walk away. She cry's and says, "What about our friendship". I go out with my friends and she doesn't seem to get jealous? I just don't get it! It's killing me. Is she really straight?

I don't mean to be course but have you had sex with her? That is the crux of the situation.

The answer is no. Nothing really intimate. Except maybe the cuddling, but she isn't doing anything that would constitute, at least in her mind, sexual activity.

You're in this deeper than her. You've put her in the relationship zone and she has you in the friend-zone. Yes, you've been friend-zoned. You both have different expectations and were never really too clear about it.

That doesn't let her off the hook, she's being a bit of a c**k-tease (C**t-Tease?). That isn't fair to you. I don't think she is in the closest.

In the end you have to ask yourself if the faux-relationship is worth the grief you're getting with it. It might be. Doesn't look like to me. I think you need to emotionally detach yourself from this woman. I don't think this is healthy. This is going to require you to get the courage to do this. Hard decision and harder to implement.

It is your sanity and your life above all else.

I believe she's gay as well.. Nothing wrong with that but she just being undercover and really don't know how to come out or expressing that side of her.. Just talk to her.. Or if you want to be straight forward just make a move like kiss her and see if she likes it or see how she reacts lol.. If she reacts in a good way than proceed but if she doesn't just explain to her how you were getting mixed signals and how you want it to go further than that.. Everybody got needs and being with her over 2years should help.. Hope you found this helpful.. Thanx