My boyfriend called me yesterday night since I wasn't well. We were talking fr a while when he suddenly blurted out that he still had feelings for his ex. He had been in a relationship with her for 3 years and told me that he still isn't completely over her even though WE have been in a relationship for one year now! When I said nothing, he told me that he wanted one month off to 'get over her'.
Does that show that I'm incapable of helping him forget her? I really love him a lot but I don't know how I'm supposed to react. Is it OK for me to give him a months time. But what's the guarantee that he will get over her? I mean one year with me an he hasn forgotten about her, so will one month without me really make a difference?

Sometimes, when you've spent long years deeply in love with someone, its not easy to completely forget them. That doesn't specifically mean your boyfriend isn't into you. He probably wants a break to get rid of her memories and some pent-up feelings.

I know you must be feeling bad, that he still is stuck up over a past relationship. And yes there actually can be no guarantee that he would get over his ex completely in the given month's time. The only thing to do is to trust him on this. Give him the break, though do not completely disappear for a month. Stay on the boundaries, call him occasionally.

Share your doubts about this break with him, tell him what you told us, without making it sound like you are accusing him or complaining. Just share your thoughts and seek reassurance.

Time will tell. If you love him, then wait and see.

For now, there isn't much you can do because he has already known you for a year, so he has a very good idea of what type of person you are. In time, things will clear up for him.

However, I do caution that you are somewhat being strung along. It's his problem for not being able to get over a past relationship, so it's his responsibility to get over it. It's not fair to you to have to wait for him.

We will see in one month what happens, but if one month drags out to two months and so on, then maybe you should reconsider waiting around for him so that you can move on with your life. It's defintiely not fair to you to have to wait indefinitely.

Thank you so much for your replies, but the plot has thickened, you could say. I recently found out that he had had two other relationships before he found me, though those only lasted from like 2 weeks.

I was the "3"rd, you could say... but he's still with me after one year so that's fine... What's bothering me now is that did he just ask me because he wanted to try to get over her? And if he did, I guess I really couldn't help much. It really hurts to know that I still can't completely steal his heart away. If I was just into 3 months of the relationship or so, I would have understood if he said he was not over his ex, but ONE YEAR and he still has feelings?

I just cry and let out my feelings sometimes. If I bring up the topic, he just says he's sorry and he loves me very much and he just needs time. That just hurts me more! :'(