I've been with my boyfriend for a little over 2 years. He's 37 and I'm 24. He has a 11 year old and I have a 4year old. He was previously married and had his child with his now ex wife (38 years old).. You would think this lady would be over him by now, but she is such a control freak. I haven't done a single thing for her to hate me other than the fact that he completely divorced her for me. She constantly calls and texts him every damn day and brainwashes her kid saying "your dad cares more about his girlfriend than you" -"Your dads girlfriend is the reason we aren't a family anymore".. She also has another son that is 20 y/o from a different father, but my boyfriend raised since he was 10. So his ex wife doesn't work and sits on her lazy *** collecting child support/alimony every month at $2,000.

She always finds some stupid reason to call or text him to give him a hard time. By the way we have 50% custody of their son. On our weeks I wake up early every morning, take him to school and pick him up and make dinner for him every night. You would think she'd be on my good side because I take care of her son. Instead she's always calling and texting my boyfriend telling him lies like I'm cheating on him with the same guy that her friends keep seeing me with? (these are completely made up or they've got the wrong girl ) and she calls me a whore and tries talking **** to me.

I've really tried to be the bigger person not to bad mouth this lady because it's my boyfriends sons mother, but this is out of control. My boyfriend tries ignoring her and doesn't believe anything that comes out of her mouth, but still.. I don't know what to do! Should just keep my mouth shut and leave it? Does anyone know why she is so bitter to me? Ugh

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I haven't done a single thing for her to hate me other than the fact that he completely divorced her for me.

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I'd say that may be part of the problem. You were seeing a married man, and he was cheating on his wife.

Second, you are not married to this man. Third, YOU do not have shared custody of his child, he has shared custody with the child's mother.

You sound very bitter toward his ex wife, with your comments. That attitude of yours, will cause the destruction of your relationship with your boyfriend. He is tied to her until at least, his obligations to his abandoned family are met with the children becoming adults.

So you have many years to go.

My advice to you is to realize your role is not to interfere with your husband's legal obligation to his child, and/or become involved with all conversations that take place between the two of them. Just step aside and let them deal with the business of making decisions together, talking together, arrangements, etc. and realize that it has nothing whatsoever to do with you.

If you choose to stay, the longer term will hopefully see you putting the children first, without resentment, or expecting anything to come of it. It won't be any easier if you marry this man, and be careful about that too- if he cheated on his wife, and left her for you, in my book, he's not exactly a stellar guy to start with.

Try not to characterize her as being a horrible person, as you have. Maybe someday you will know what it feels like to have your husband leave you for a woman who is 14 years younger. You started dating him when you were 22 and he was 35.

If you can't live with what you have created, then yes, it's time to get out, and leave any future married men you meet, out of the picture.

You need to calm down, breath. They work on your relationship with your boyfriend, what anyone else does is not of your concern, and the baby mama drama needs to be ignored. Your boyfriend does it, why can't you? I agree with Jake, you are going to have to stay out of it and just focus on your current relationship. If you can't, you might as well break up and end the drama altogether.

@jake2008 How can you say she has no say in it? As the new wife the decisions made by her husband and the ex-wife will also affect her, therefore she should have a say to. Before the husband makes any final decisions with the ex he needs to approach his wife and talk over. Because guess who's going to watch over the children when they come over, cook, clean and take them to school, not the husband! But the wife. You must be the ex to be so one-sided and critical of this poor girl.
@jdawgslim, the ex doesn't like you because you had an affair with her husband, whether she still wanted to be with him or not at the time, she is hurt and humiliated. The fact that you are still in his life, and around her kids adds insult to injury. Just lay low, don't interact with her, don't answer her phone calls or texts. You do not need to have a relationship with her, she isn't family to you. Focus on the stepkids and your husband. It is up to your husband to ignore her accusations and not entertain her stupidness. Keep on living your life or you're going to stress yourself up trying to impress a woman who will probably never accept you.

@jake2008 are you serious right now? She has every say in what goes on. She takes care of her stepson and the fact that you belittled her must mean that you got the bitter end of the stick. As I know exactly what she's going through some woman are just hard headed and stupid no matter what you do you will probably never be good enough mind you, you shouldn't feel like you need her approval. Anyway Im sorry you have to go through this but you should feel good that your husband doesn't believe anything that she says because mine did... no that in the end it all boils down how you treat your stepchildren be good to them. And to answer the question of why she is so bitter to you its because she's jealous and as cliché as that sounds its true. Your much younger probably more beautiful and probably less naggy she has no other choice than to envy the relationship you and him share. And the only thing that connect them is there children so obviously that's all she has to hold over him.

Again IM SORRY

He ignores her, so should you. That includes whatever her friends say about you. She will pay someday for teaching her kids hatred, and they will deal with you the way you treat them.

Have nothing to do with her, or what she does, she is hurt and bitter, as you would be if he left you for a younger woman.