I just want to be his Angel
I having been dating this guy almost 2 years now and we have been having what we both call "a roller coaster" ride of a relationship the past year or so. We are now not talking to one another.
We were friends for a year so because we met at school and then we eventually started to date and then got really close and then he moved close to me because he originally lives 1 1/2 away from me. He was finishing up school and moved back and in between those times I was hurting do to finding out things about my father, I have had hormone/fibroid tumor problems and problems with school and credits transferring and then I gained weight from my medical problems.
It was like the minute I started to date this wonderful guy everything started to happen one by one and I had to learn how to cope, deal with major stress and feelings I never experienced before. I feel like I put it on him but I didn't mean to because I love him tooo very much.
Well I found out I have cancer amonth or so and I didn't say anything because even the doctor said to wait until we know how bad it is and what needs to be done. I don't want to be known as having baggage and I did go to talk to a few psychiatrists and they have acknowledge as me being normal and that I am just experiencing some confusion and hurt after all of what has happened in the past 2 years.
We have been fighting a lot lately and I still want to be his Angel and stop fighting without losing him.
This is his first year teaching and he has been busy, he is workaholic and the time we don't see each other doesn't bother me it was just that he didn't call in a pattern and I felt like a lot of things that have been the problems is because we don't have a pattern in our relationship and I miss my best friend so much I just want him back.
I am not trying to blame myself but I feel like he has been different and not wanting to treat me like he used to because of my hormones and me getting upset over things because of everything I have been going through.
I tried to break up with him a few times but he wouldn't let me, he wanted to work it out and we tried. Well here we are and he wants a break and time to think because a week or so ago I tried to end things because I didn't want him to see him upset or hurt over the cancer after everything we have gone through and I felt he only sees me as the one going through a lot but I know there is much more to me than that and I am still his Angel, I am still the one he loved and wanted and I hate it that I am having my surgery in 2 weeks to remove the cancer, having plastic surgery to make me look even better over where the cancer will be removed and we are not even talking. He asked me if he could call me last week but I told hiim I wanted to give him time to think... what should I do?
