Ask Me Help Desk - My girlfriend's mom doesn't want us to see each other anymore, what do I do?

I guess I should start by saying how old we are and all that, I am now 23 and she is 16. I met this girl over a year ago and we started becoming very good friends. We only ever talked through text messages and through was a period of two months that we didn't speak. But she got a new phone and texted my number because it was still in her contacts. Long story short, we've been texting, talking ever since and about two months ago we decided to try seeing each other. We didn't tell our families about it but friends knew and suppoerted us. We never went into this expecting to fall in love but I know she is the one for me. I had told my parents about her and they weren't concerned but when she told her mom she forbid her from seeing me. We are still allowed to talk to each other but I am wondering if that is enough. I know that I can wait the 2 or 3 years it takes for her to finish school and for her mom to approve. I was willing to meet her parents so that they know I'm a nice guy and not out to hurt their daughter. But they never gave me a chance. We have talked about it and I want us to remain loyal and committed to each other because I know we can last if we still talk all the time. I plan on being there for her no matter what and we were best friends before we had to break up. So I guess I am asking, is it realistic to think that, because neither of us wanted our relationship to end, if we stay in touch that we will end up together?

There is something very concerning about a ADULT "dating" a minor CHILD and I can fully understand her parents concerns.

Are you serious? She is 16? Do you remember at all what it was like to be 16? If you keep talking to her and dating her you will destroy her life. YOU need to be the adult in this situation and do what is best for this child. You have to cut this "relationship" off and date someone your own age. If you really love her you will understand you are both at two completely different points in your life. She needs to be working on school, looking towards college, and shyly and awkwardly dancing with boys her own age at school dances. You are 23, you should be close to graduating college, working on a career, having a place of your own, and dating/fooling around with women, not girls. Give this girl her life back. Let her know it's not going to work and you both have different needs even if she does not know that. Then cut off all communication and don't look back. You are digging yourself, and her, a serious hole if you do not end this now.

When I was 16 I dated a 23 year old. All I can say is don't make the same mistake that I made, stay clear of all the trouble that you can get into with her. Like sneaking her out, having sex, and maybe even kissing her! That could all lead to a BIG problem with her parents... But if you REALLY TRULY love her. Don't let her go..
Good luck to you, just make sure not to get yourself into trouble because even when you don't think they will parents will screw you over big time!!

I am in a same situation like you, I can fully understand u, we did not have sex our relationship is completely healthy, I know all those craps like digging a "serious hole" for both of us. People who said that never got into the situation like us all they know about relationship is about sex, cheating on parents and all bad stuff because they do not understand the communication between couple like us. Before I answer your question, I have words to people who think adult and minor child relationship will always end with prison.. "If you have unhealthy mind about a relationship, stop judging people because if you have a relationship with your own age, all you think are sex, and sex and sex too".

Okay so this is how I do.. I encourage her to meet new people, new guys in high school, if she will meet a guy that she likes.. tell me and go ahead to have that relationship. She hates her mother so much now for stopping us to be together so I told her not to hate her mom because her mom did that for her safety and because she loves her. Do not just go away from her because you may work out this relationship in future if you really mean to be together and if you just go away from her, you can imagine how much she will hate her mom for that it may eventually ruin her life. So if you love her, stay at her side as a good friend, and do everything good to her, maybe she will really get a boyfriend for her age, maybe you will meet a girlfriend for your age, maybe you will be together in 2 years when she is 18.. nobody knows.. so good luck.
Oh and make sure you respect her, I mean do not have sex with her until her legal age because that really put u in behind bars.. masturbate if you need it XD

As a parent I would be on you like white on rice if you were dating my 16 year old daughter.
Don't you know women your own age?
You need to leave this young girl alone. She needs to have fun with her friends, enjoy her high school years, not putting her life on hold waiting to be old enough for you.
You need to get a life and let her have one.

Agree, if it was my 16 year old you would not be talking on the phone and I wonder if she is really suppose to, or lying about it and doing it behind their back. I would have a restraining order on you before the sun set if she was my daughter.

A 23 year old man has no business dating a child. And if you wait 3 years, sorry she will find several other boyfriends in a few years and should, you are talking away her high school years, dances, dates and fun going out.

And I have some serious concerns over your parents if they saw no problem with you being a pedophile.

Everyone who answerd negitivly are idiots I hate meddling parents hello she isn't a child anymore she has a mind of her own if she likes him and he likes her what's the problem would you rarther her be with a 16 year old who hits her or a 23 year old who loves her? I mean he's wiling to meet the parents that's got to mean something, Also he is willing to wait for her which means he is seriouse dude I say go for it my mam and dad had this problem and they had 8 years age gap not 7 now they are happily married.

Just need to say one last thing the person who said "if you came neer my 16 year old i would get a restraining order out on you" I know a guy who I went to school with and he was made to be in at 8 on a school night 9 on a weekend by his mother and not allowed neer girls or boys who she thinks are a bad influence, 4 years later here he is smoking weed dropping pills going out every day to the pubs and on jobseekers allowence all because he was unable to live the first years of his life because of MOTHERS LIKE YOU!

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Originally Posted by SETH2177

everyone who answerd negitivly are idiots i hate meddling parents hello she aint a child anymore she has a mind of her own if she likes him and he likes her whats the problem would you rarther her be with a 16 year old who hits her or a 23 year old who loves her? i mean hes wiling to meet the parents thats got to mean something, Also he is willing to wait for her which means he is seriouse dude i say go for it my mam and dad had this problem and they had 8 years age gap not 7 now they are happily married.

just need to say one last thing the person who said "if you came neer my 16 year old i would get a restraining order out on you" i know a guy who i went to school with and he was made to be in at 8 on a school night 9 on a weekend by his mother and not allowed neer girls or boys who she thinks are a bad influence, 4 years later here he is smoking weed dropping pills going out every day to the pubs and on jobseekers allowence all because he was unable to live the first years of his life because of MOTHERS LIKE YOU!

She is still a CHILD. She is only 16. In the US you are not considered an adult until the age of 18, legally.

It's all about the LAW.

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everyone who answerd negitivly are idiots I hate meddling parents hello she isn't a child anymore she has a mind of her own if she likes him and he likes her what's the problem would you rarther her be with a 16 year old who hits her or a 23 year old who loves her?

So the people that don't agree with breaking the law are idiots? How did you come up with that reasoning?

She is a child. If she wants to act like an adult and date an adult, then she should become an adult, get a job, move out, and then she can make her own decisions. Even then, she's still jail bait.

You're mom and dad may have an 8 year age gap, but there's a big difference when you're both adults with an age gap, and when one person is a child and the other is an adult.

Bottom line, this isn't legal. If her parents say no, and he goes against that, he'll be behind bars so fast he won't know what hit him.

You can't just do whatever you want whenever you want and screw the law. That's what you're telling him to do. That's very bad advice.

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just need to say one last thing the person who said "if you came neer my 16 year old i would get a restraining order out on you" I know a guy who I went to school with and he was made to be in at 8 on a school night 9 on a weekend by his mother and not allowed neer girls or boys who she thinks are a bad influence, 4 years later here he is smoking weed dropping pills going out every day to the pubs and on jobseekers allowence all because he was unable to live the first years of his life because of MOTHERS LIKE YOU!

Ah, I see, you're a child. Now I get it. Something you should know little boy. Your friends mother didn't mess up his life. He did. You can't have it both ways. You can't say "let them make their own decisions and be adults", and then say "Because of you he made the wrong decisions". If he wants to be an adult then he has to take responsibility for his own actions and stop blaming his stupidity on his mother and the fact that she treated him like a child when he was a child.

When you grow up a bit, become an adult, become a parent, maybe then you'll understand. Until then I suggest that you don't give advice when you have absolutely no clue.