Ask Me Help Desk - How do you define a healthy relationship?

What kind of qualities define a healthy relationship?

Unconditional love.

Excellent communication.

Respect.

Honesty.

Compromise.

What does unconditional love mean to you?

I would say complete trust,
Friendship, communication of problems,
And both people having a happy life independent of each other.

I am also wondering about how important passion is.. im thinking this kind of disappears after some years and it becomes more of a friendship.

I believe passion is the foundation of any relationship, without passion you cannot have honesty, trust, love, etc.

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What does unconditional love mean to you?

Sickness or health, better or worse, rich or poor. Fat or skinny.

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I believe passion is the foundation of any relationship, without passion you cannot have honesty, trust, love, etc.

Passion can come or go but honesty and communication must always be there for there to be trust and love. I think it all starts with the commitment and understanding exactly what that commitment means. Unless you get that part right then you don't have a relationship, its just two people playing the role until things get to hard for them to handle. So they can just walk away and not work on it. Without commitment there will always be a loophole to leave, and find something better, instead of working together and growing together. If you don't believe me just read some of these posts on this forum.

A healthy relationship? As everyone before has posted - I agree with. How I would define unconditional love is that I can separate the deed from the doer - I can still love the person, even though I dislike what they did. I see this especially in raising children - parents love their children even when they misbehave. We do not withhold our love as a means of control or punishment. With our spouses, the same thing. We all screw up sometimes and we need that unconditional love to see us through a rough time. Jesus was and is and will always be the best example of unconditional love.

You asked about passion - yes, there definitely has to be some passion in the relationship. However sometimes people confuse passion with infatuation and sexual attraction. We have all seen and known couples who instantly connect and yet a few months later are kaput. They had a passion but not the kind that develops throughout a long term relationship. They did not have any of the other keys to a successful relationship, nor were they most likely interested in them either.

I like what Tal said about commitment - going into any relationship without that focus leaves the door open for problems. There is not a sense of "owning" responsibility to each other.

I also agree with Rol about having a happy life independent of each other. I would define that as keeping friends, interests, hobbies, and activities (e.g. volunteering) that are important to the person. Those things help keep us sane and lend a focus to our lives that cannot be done if we remain with only one dimension. It is sad to hear about people who get boxed in a relationship, are not permitted to even keep their friends, have no outlet other than what their partner allows.

Joe stated one of the key meanings of unconditional love is respect. YES. You need to respect your partner and it starts with respecting yourself first. You cannot give respect if you have no concept of what it is.

So this is my contribution. Hope it helps. Take care.

First you have to define what a healthy person is, I think. Then you need to find two of them who happen to love with each other. When you have a healthy relationship, its much easier to meet the challenges you face together. I would site two critical things that I see others messed up in over and over -- the ability to be honest (with self or others both) and a good balance of me, you and us. I think unconditional love is both terribly misinterpreted and something people take a time to grow into, truth be told. I like shygrneyzs take on it. My dog is still better at it than I am. LOL

That each individual in the relationship is able to be their true selves, and loved for being their true selves, flaws and all.

The ability to have a disagreement, sticking to the actual topic, and not saying ugly hurtful words that can not be taken back later.

Able to truly forgive after the disagreement and openly discuss the problem - without assigning blame.

Unconditional love - yeah, like Val said, my pooch Has that one down to a science. Haven't had the experience of hubby greeting me at the door, jumping up and down so happy to see me, even though I have only been gone 5 minutes. (just kiddn).

Unconditional love? Well, as all the others have said. When life throws curve balls; i.e. loss of job, loss of health, in-laws, in-laws, in-laws, well, my friends, I guess it means, you love them just as much when things are rosy as you do when the thorns on the rose appear.

And to truly be there for each other when needed.

Improve Your Relationships

The Power of Thought

Love begins with our thoughts. We become what we think about. Loving thoughts create loving experiences and loving relationships. Affirmations can change our beliefs and thoughts about ourselves and others. If we want to love someone, we need to consider their needs and desires. Thinking about your ideal partner will help you recognize him or her when you meet him or her.

The Power of Respect

You cannot love anyone or anything unless you first respect them. The first person you need to respect is yourself. To begin to gain self-respect ask yourself: "What do I respect about myself?" To gain respect for others, even those you may dislike, ask yourself: "What do I respect about them?"

The Power of Giving

If you want to receive love, all you have to do is give it! The more love you give, the more you will receive. To love is to give of yourself, freely and unconditionally. Practice random acts of kindness. Before committing to a relationship ask not what the other person will be able to give to you, but rather what will you be able to give them. The secret formula of a happy, lifelong, loving relationship is to always focus on what you can give instead of what you can take.

The Power of Friendship

To find a true love, you must first find a true friend. Love does not consist of gazing into each other's eyes, but rather looking outward together in the same direction. To love someone completely you must love them for who they are, not what they look like. Friendship is the soil through which love's seeds grow. If you want to bring love into a relationship, you must first bring friendship.

The Power of Touch

Touch is one of the most powerful expressions of love, breaking down barriers and bonding relationships. Touch changes our physical and emotional states and makes us more receptive to love.

The Power of Letting Go

"If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you it's yours, if it doesn't it never was." Even in a loving relationship, people need their own space. If we want to learn to love, we must first learn to forgive and let go of past hurts, and grievances. Love means letting go of our fears, prejudices, egos and conditions. "Today I let go of all my fears, the past has no power over me-today is the beginning of a new life."

The Power of Communication

When we learn to communicate openly and honestly, life changes. To love someone is to communicate with them. Let the people you love know that you love them and appreciate them. Never be afraid to say those three magic words: "I Love You." Never let an opportunity pass to praise someone. Always leave someone you love with a loving word - it could be the last time you see them. If you were about to die but could make telephone calls to the people you loved, who would you call, what would you say and.. . why are you waiting?

The Power of Commitment

If you want to have love in abundance, you must be committed to it, and that commitment will be reflected in your thoughts and actions. Commitment is the true test of love. If you want to have loving relationships, you must be committed to loving relationships. When you are committed to someone or something, quitting is never an option. Commitment distinguishes a fragile relationship from a strong one.

The Power of Passion

Passion ignites love and keeps it alive. Lasting passion does not come through physical attraction alone, it comes from deep commitment, enthusiasm, interest and excitement. Passion can be recreated by recreating past experiences when you felt passionate. Spontaneity and surprises produce passion. The essence of love and happiness are the same; all we need to do is to live each day with passion.

The Power of Trust

Trust is essential in all loving relationships. Without it one person becomes suspicious, anxious and fearful and the other person feels trapped and emotionally suffocated. You cannot love someone completely unless you trust them completely. Act as if your relationship with the person you love will never end. One of the ways you can tell whether a person is right for you is to ask yourself: "Do I trust them completely and unreservedly?" If the answer is "no", then you must think very carefully before you make any type of a commitment.

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committed to someone or something, quitting is never an option.

I like this part, as it what its all about for me.

You guys are all AMAZING in your posts - I am just taken back by all the wonderful information coming through. You have given a whole new perspective to things and I agree commitment is the KEY.

Thank you.

Trust, respect, space, compromise, listening - I mean really listening, being able to communicate anything, BALANCE - both having a life. Loving, joyous, No judgement.

For me, self respect, mutual respect, friendship, compassion, room or space, slow to anger, slow to judgement, honesty and trust. That is just off the top of my head. There are a lot more definitions, I am sure. This is a good start though.

Thanks teaching. Hope your day is wonderful.