Ask Me Help Desk - What to do

I'm in big trouble. I'm married and my conjugal life sometimes goes very bad. I had friend to share everything. Day by day I was going very close to him. He used to knock me all the time, care me a lot. At first from my side I couldn't say no, but later I realized I'm in love with him. Problem started after. He stopped knocking me like he used to, but physically we still had relation.

And I was never scared about my husband. I wanted him as my good friend, but whenever I talked to him for any topic, he started telling me I know nothing, or I talk wrong, or I should not do this or that blah blah. So I wanted to stop this relation but nicely as he is very close to my husband too.

But we had big fight one day.I couldn't control myself either. I went to his place (which he didn't like) and I told him back. I know sometimes I used to do nagging. So said he was so much disturbed for me and I deserve this behavior. He insulted me, I felt like I'm from the street. And I said never call me while I never called him.

Now I'm happy its over. But his insult is killing me. I feel really bad to my husband even, its cheating to him .I feel like I'm no where.

Oh my gosh let it go and let the cheating and lying and deceiving be over. His best fiend??

No remorse at the cheating, yet anger at an insult?? Maybe your husband can help you get over the insults of your lover, why not ask him??

You can't can you/ That's because cheaters are basically selfish out of control cowards.

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What to do?

Get over yourself and do better, I would add be honest with your husband, but that may be asking too much.

I had very bad time when I got closed to him. Easy to call anything but realizing situation not easy.

Why are you married? Do you care about your husband at all, or do you only care about yourself and what you want?

Any insult your lover directed at you is probably well deserved, I'm sure your husband would have even worse insults for you, and he's well within his right to make those insults.

Your lover made you feel like you're "from the street". Well, when you spread your legs for any guy that comes around, even though you're married, then that's what happens. You can't expect to be treated well if you do things that don't deserve that sort of treatment.

Accept that any insults you get are well deserved. Confess to your husband that you're not a loyal wife, accept what he decides, and get over yourself.

Introuble, from your writing style, I gather that English is not your native language. Do you mind sharing where you are from and what language you normally use? It will help in understanding what you have said.

In trying to understand, I am going to ask a question that is going to be blunt: Did you have a sexual relationship with the 'friend' (I will refer to him as 'F' and your husband as 'H')?

Once again trying to understand. What was the 'insult'? When you say it made you feel like you are 'from the street', do you mean like a 'prostitute' or like someone who is lower class (no sexual reference?) If he made you feel like a prostitute, then he should acknowledge that the insult fits him, too. He hasn't been 'good friend' material any more than you have been a 'good wife'.

Without know the cultural implications, I won't say to tell your husband everything. I have a feeling though that he may already know. I will say that you should look for marriage counseling services in your local area. It sounds like your marriage needed help before you started confiding in F. I think you would benefit from having a neutral person to talk to about issues in your marriage and to guide you and your husband in learning better ways to communicate.

Look at your marriage and see where you can make it better. Take responsibility for the things you know you do that undermine the relationship. I don't mean what you get blamed for doing even if you aren't. But what you know you need to change. Instead of 'nagging' H to do or get something, what can you do?

If H is more of a friend than a husband, why? Has it always been that way? Was the beginning of your relationship better? What changed? Why did you start confiding in a friend? Why did you feel comfortable talking to F about your marital issues? Why not a female friend?

I think by saying 'knocking', OP means having intercourse "he stopped knocking me like he used to". That must be a literal translation from her native language.