My boyfriend is someone I can depend on, but on other hand he is really possessive, he wants to control my life and he does, because I have no choice, I live with him because I don't have parents or money to buy apartment or rent one, I don't have saved money and I work in his company. It is true that I don't need to work so much and I get a minimum payment every month, he buys me clothes and food and all this stuff I need, but really cannot breath in this relationship.

He is like a psychopath and he always looks where I have my phone what I do when I'm using the Internet, I can go out like 2 per month with my girlfriends for a drink (for an hour or maybe 2 hours max.) but when I get back I always have to listen his possessive and jealousy speak and he is asking me EVERYDAY, many times per day if I will ever leave him and If I have someone else in the game, BUT I'm always home and I can't have anyone? He is walking around, he is the one who has a car and is outside all the time, but he is always saying that this is just business. I love him I really do, and I'm also depend on him, because of my financial situation. If I break up with him, I have no place to stay, no one, no job, nothing and he will follow me around like a detective, I've been there, done that already. But If I will be with him 1 more year I can have 100.000 dollars in one year or maybe more. But right now I don't have more than 100 $. I know its not about the money but I have to survive somehow. I'm almost 30 years old and he is 10 years older than me.

Please help me, what should do, I hate being so much controlled, I'm losing my mind, I suffer so much, but I have no way out, at least if I can hold on for 1 more year and then break up with him.

If I would at least have a house/apartment or someone with who I can stay I would be gone along time ago. And the conversation with him doesn't help, I tried this more than 200 time and It help just for 1 hour. I'm crying every day and no one knows about my situation, I'm holding everything in me and it hurts me so much that I can't even breath. I don't want to tell this to anybody because people are so judgmental that I can't and even if I would tell it would not help.

Please, give me at least a little advice what should I do, please please please, should I be patience for 1 more year and wait and save?

That sounds like a pretty bad situation. No one should be controlled in a relationship. You are in a very tricky situation (no money saved, you work at his business, no parents to rely on), but what about friends? Do you have any really close friends or siblings who you could possibly stay with for a while? I guess you would eventually have to find another place of employment as well even if you did have a friend that you could stay with due to the possible consequences of moving out, but still working for him.

Outside of moving out and staying with a friend or sibling, I've got nothing else. Hopefully some of the more experienced members can give you a bit more advice.

You need to find a place to go, I agree with the first post in that you need to find a friend's place to go to. However, seeing as to how controlling your boyfriend is, it might be hard to have friends. First of all, you need to find another job, anything will help. Then, you are going to have to break up with him. Only then can you move out either on your own or with one of your friends. People always need roommates.

This isn't a relationship. AT ALL. This is some weird, crazy fixation on the part of your boyfriend and enough is enough. I would suggest going to either a local church or women's abuse center (you don't have to be hit physically to be abused) and use your discernment to really confide in someone at one of those places. I'm sure that someone at one of those places will have some great advice on getting out and they may even provide you with a place to stay. This isn't healthy. No one deserves to live under a microscope.

No I can't stay with any of my friends, I have some friends but these are like coffee friends and to go out with, true and real friend are really hard to find and I was always good to everyone and also always screwed up by them later. Im not from US but I would like to save some money so I can go to US and try to find a job there, a new beginning, new friends, a new better life. I know that situation in economy is not OK now, but I can work hard and hold on.
And my boyfriend, he is always repeating after me and is so annoying, like if I take a yogurt he will take one, if I don't eat, he won't either, even if he is not hungry, if I watch girly stuff on TV, he will watch them also, everything I do, he will do also because he thinks that he have to do the same things that I do, so we can be ONE and equal.
Its so stressing living like this, its so annoying, painful, I cry all the time…

I have a wish to move in US for a long time now, but I have to wait for one more year to save some money. It is also very boring being just with him, we go travelling, to cinema, bars, restaurants, but he is always controlling me, looking where I am looking, I can't even look on right or left, he is always watching in the mirrors and windows so he can see in reflection what Im doing with my phone if we are somewhere.

But with friends like I wrote I can go only 2 or maybe 3 time per month for 1 or 2 hours.

I used to go out a lot before I was with him I was a happy young girl, always smiling even if I had some problems, always talkactive, willing to help anyone, joyful, dancing everyday…

Now.. I am happy if Im alone if he goes out (for "bussiness") for 1 hour or more…so I can relax, I feel tension all the time when he is home.

I can't even breath normaly.

I know it's hard to believe if you are not in the same situation, but it really is like this, maybe even worse you could imagine.


Thank you everyone for your answers and your help, it makes me feel I'm not 100% all alone in this situation. It is so nice to here someone's advice, comfort words.

Thank you so much

I don't understand how a year from now is going to be any different for you. And where is all that money going to come from?

I forgot to answer for the first question…the money will come for sure, we have a contract with someone (another company) and I get my part. This is for sure. The difference will be that I will be able to start a new fresh life, but if I break up with him I get nothing. This is for sure too.

And you will actually get the money. He won't find a way to pry it out of your hands. (You really think he would be so stupid as to allow you the freedom to have a lot of money?? )

I know it sounds unbeliveable maybe because of my story, but yes, it comes to my bank account. But if we break up we will not work together so I get nothing, maybe only 20.000$.

Its really not about the money, but it is hard to live without it. Its imposible. I used to have some money but I invest it into his company and this is not on the paper so I don't have a prove because I was in love, I trusted him …and he is also very manipulative.

All I can do is to be patient this year until March 2013. But Im really losing my mind, my health is not OK anymore, because Im nervous all the time, Im shaking when he is around, and when he is gone (outside) Im shaking that he won't come back and find me talking to my friends or on the internet.

The only joy that I have is coffee, TV, my dog.
Even if we go traveling or wherever Im not relaxed and comfortable.

A year of this manipulation and living with constant inspection? For $20,000? I couldn't do it. I would call an abuse hot line, work with them to get out, grab my dog and my purse and a few clothes and go out the door.

Are you saying your job depends on you staying with him? That's a lousy business, and personal decision. You should be looking for another job just in case this sure thing doesn't work like you think it will. You may have been dumb enough to trust him with your money once, and see where that has you now.

You need a plan B immediately, that doesn't depend on living with him, and working for his company. Even if you have to give up the creature comforts he provides to you, and live off less in a less luxurious way.