I have been suffering for over a year now, and it's taken over everything. I can't socialise and I'm extremely paranoid about people looking at me and judging me.
But all I keep thinking is, is it my fault I have an eating disorder? Is it my fault that I can't socialise?
I don't know why I'm asking this because I know it's true, I would ask my therapist but I will just cry or sometime because I know it's my fault, it can't be anyone's else's, it's my eating disorder, I put this on myself.

So anyway tell me the truth of what you think. Thanks

There are factors in your life that have caused you to go down this road. You may not know what they are, but something has caused this. Yes you are responsible for your own actions, and yes you chose to begin the actions of an eating disorder, but you DID NOT choose to have eating disorder thoughts. It's a vicious cycle, once you start starving yourself or binging and purging, its hard to stop your mentality changes and the thought that you must continue just keeps getting stronger and stronger. That voice inside your head that tells you if you eat you will get fat or that you are fat anyway even though to everyone else you are skinny and sick.
You can get better. The thoughts might be with you for a while but once you get better you can be strong and chose not to go back to the actions of it.