I have been married for 4 months but been with him for 4 years. We have a 3 year old together. My husband has a awful attitude now (was not always this way) he gets so angry about any and everything. When he is upset he takes it out on me with some pretty hurtful words. He doesn't like for me to have fun or speak to any male that isn't his friend or our family. I don't know what to do about this. I don't want a divorce but I don't know how to stay. When he argues (every other week) he packs his clothes and goes to his mother's house. How should I handle this?

Are you a stay at home mom? Remind him who comes first. Make a special dinner, fix him a drink, make sure everything looks perfect when he walks in, but don't jump all over him or expect to immediately turn the kid over to him... the little things. It may sound like a "caveman" mentality, but it's a cliché for a reason.

Then if he gets angry, point them out. "I know you're stressed about work, but don't take it out on me... I'm trying here!" Reassure him that he isn't working hard for another man to enjoy the fruits of his labor. I'm not talking about an affair. No one likes to come home and see another guy on their couch, watching their TV, playing with their kid, etc, or to even imagine that stuff is going on while they're gone. If you're close friends with a guy, you may have to tell him to take some time off while you work on your relationship with your husband.

If you both work, then you're going to have to make time for each other. Try to remember what your relationship was like in the early days. Obviously you can't go back to a time before you had a kid and all the other responsibilities that go along with it, but maybe you can find some way to turn back the clock emotionally.

In either case, tell him it's fine for him to go to his mother's if he needs to escape, but that his family, and all the problems and the joys that come with it, will be right where he left them when he wants to tell you what's wrong.

What if he is angry about other guys saying hello to me? Im not a stay at home mom I work and go to school. I come home and clean everyday, I cook and he doesn't even care. He will go get fast food. Do I really want to be married to someone who is so quick to abandon his family? The guy who said hello to me is a complete stranger I've never seen him before so I kept walking away. By me walking away he felt like I was hiding something. I can't win either way. I've never cheated I barely go out unless he is with me. Its not fair that I shouldn't have fun so that he won't be jealous. He doesn't know how to speak when he is angry. Its always about name calling. Im tired of being alone in a marriage, tired of the one I love fussing at me for being human. Please help!

Marriage counselling - but if you are being abused then it's time to leave.

You need to decide if the price you pay to stay in the marriage is worth it.

Are you better off with or without him?

There is no physical abuse at all. Its just the constant arguing on his end that leads him to leave out home every week. He doesn't talk he says the most hurtful things then walks away. Im not into tit for tat for I don't say hurtful things back out of anger because its childish. Im at a loss really. I love him, but I know that love isn't all it will take to make this work. By him leaving all the time I'm always alone and this wasn't my idea of marriage. I left him before a year ago and we were apart for a year and I thought he was different this time. Im so sad because I want to be with him but he doesn't know how to treat me. Im heartbroken

Constant arguing IS abuse.

I understand. I guess now I just need to figure out the best thing for me. I was just hoping that someone could help me find a way to avoid divorce.

I love my husband more than anything but I'm not so sure his love for me is strong enough to continue. He will argue with me and leave at least once a month. How do I handle a man that doesn't love me enough to not fuss with me? How do I get him to talk without confrontations?

You sit him down and talk calmly and rationally - we don't know him so all we can do is advise based on our own experience. If he won't talk to you, then seek counselling. Possibly he won't go. Go by yourself.

It's frustrating when you are upset and concerned and your partner won't discuss the issues with you. It may very well not be about "loving you enough" and may be about his inability to communicate when it comes to sensitive issues.

People have posted that writing it all down and handing it to him works - I can't quite picture that in MY life but it's a thought.

Thanks I hope it works I'll try anything.

From the sounds of it, he is mentally abusing you whether he knows it or not.

Counseling is about your only option here if you think you want to stay with him but otherwise, you should leave. Something that also needs to be said... you need to think about your 3 year old in all of this. She is having to deal with what you are dealing with and it sounds very unstable for her. Sometimes, you just need to do what's best for the kid and it doesn't sound like being with him is the best choice.

Thanks for all of your help. Im going to try the counseling, but it seems like I'm going alone :(

See? If he is unwilling to do counseling with you, that says even more about him.

I am sorry, I feel for you. This is not an easy situation for anyone.

I wish you the best of luck.

Yeah I know.. thanks