Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Relationships (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=277)
-   -   What should I do when my wife loves her ex still? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=638405)

  • Feb 23, 2012, 09:59 AM
    packersfan22
    What should I do when my wife loves her ex still?
    We've been together for 9 months (yesterday) and every time it gets near our anniversary I keep finding her contacting her ex girlfriend whom I really dislike with a passion! And when I asked her if that's who she wants to be with she says no and that she wants to be with me . Yet she constantly shows me signs of deceit and unfaithfulness.

    And every time she does this I'm always so quick to take her back. I've honestly had enough and I don't know what to do no more. Its breaking my heart every single day having to think about it and she doesn't even care.

    So what do I do? I don't have anywhere else to go so I'm currently living with her. Please help me ! D':
  • Feb 23, 2012, 11:03 AM
    Kahani Punjab
    Packer's Fan (aged 22),

    Firstly, let me welcome you to this beautiful site, dear!

    I shall like to hear your answers to a number of queries or doubts, which creep in my mind, after I went through your post.

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by packersfan22 View Post

    We've been together for 9 months (yesterday) and every time it gets near our anniversary

    What? Every time... I think yet your first anniversary is to come! Not?

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by packersfan22 View Post
    I keep finding her contacting her ex girlfriend whom I really dislike with a passion !

    Her ex-gf??
    Has it been a 'her' versus 'her' affair?

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by packersfan22 View Post

    And when I asked her if that's who she wants to be with she says no and that she wants to be with me. Yet she constantly shows me signs of deceit and unfaithfulness.

    O no! If someone contacts her/his ex, it does not mean, he/she is still inclined towards ex, but it is just natural. Contacting does not mean liking what to talk of loving. It can be ALL OVER but still one can contact ex. Moreover, what signs of decipt or mistrust do you observe? These may be your misconceptions... Give your relationship time and space and I hope it will blossom. Still, mine is not the final word. Wait and watch!

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by packersfan22 View Post
    Its breaking my heart every single day ........she doesn't even care. So what do I do ? ..........I'm currently living with her . Please help me ! D':

    So you are in conjugal or live-in relationship, or sort of it. Sure, as you mentioned, if you are married couple, it is natural, expected thing to live togher. Not? What are your ages? Breaking heart? Do not lose heart or hope, dear! Do you indulge in sex? Does she has longish hair, or cutting? Do you touch her 'there'? Having interest in such intimate things make you close to your lover or beloved.
  • Feb 23, 2012, 11:11 AM
    packersfan22
    Yes I'm a girl and honestly I'm not here for sexual discrimination . And yes my wife contacts her and it just gets to me that its always the same ex I catch her with . I don't think she's ready to be in a committed relationship and yes I currently live with her . She's my first and last love , everything I had I gave up for her . I never had a dime to my name cas I spend it all on her trying to make her happy when her own family treats her like crap . I don't know what to do nomore I'm just crying my eyes out going crazy ! :/
  • Feb 23, 2012, 11:15 AM
    Kahani Punjab
    O! So it is lesbian marriage and lesbian affair, it had been!!

    Which country you are from?
    Do you give her time and do you satiate/gratify/satisfy her emotional and sexual needs, which she seeks/wants from you?

    Do you touch her interior? Try shaving each others pubes (the hair around vagina) or the sex place hair. Do you have longish hair, what about her!
  • Feb 23, 2012, 11:20 AM
    nitelight198073
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Kahani Punjab View Post
    O! So it is lesbian marriage and lesbian affair, it had been!!!

    Which country you are from?
    Do you give her time and do you satiate/gratify/satisfy her emotional and sexual needs, which she seeks/wants from you?

    Do you touch her interior? Try shaving each others pubes (the hair around vagina) or the sex place hair. Do you have longish hair, what about her!

    Umm what does this have to do with the poster's problem.. I am confused. Anyway my dear I think if this is an issue move on, no one is worth the hurt you are describing that you feel. Cut your loses
  • Feb 23, 2012, 11:30 AM
    packersfan22
    Its not as easy as it sounds .
  • Feb 23, 2012, 03:08 PM
    TrueFaith
    Hey

    How long have you been married? Did she show signs of this before you popped the big question?
    I think someone rushed into something way too fast!

    What she is doing is so wrong! And you putting up with it is even more upsetting!


    My advice tell her that she is in a relationship with you you don't appreciate her keep on talking to her x! And tell her to make a 100% commitment to this marriage! If not then get out!

    I can't fathom why someone would put up with a person that treats then like a rug!

    I hope you get yourself respect back
    And shoe her that your not just a option in her life!
  • Feb 24, 2012, 08:38 AM
    SentientAndroid
    Lol @ Punjab, really?

    Hey Packersfan, give us a bit more detail about the nature of your relationship. How long have you guys been dating? I'm assuming that you guys have been married for 9 months now, but I don't understand how "everytime" it gets near your anniversay you keep finding shady activity. Try to pull back the reins and not do as much for her or go broke for her anymore. I know that it's going to be difficult because I was in a relationship where I did any and everything for this girl financially and it put me in a tight spot with money. I'm not saying completely cut her off, but try to balance it out a bit more so that you're able to do for yourself as well. I think that sometimes people who are more dependent in a relationship get comfortable and use to being taken care of as opposed to approaching the relationship with a 50/50 mentality.
  • Feb 25, 2012, 11:20 PM
    talaniman
    Your solution is to find somewhere else to go, even on a temporary sleep on the couch basis. I know how hard it is but break ups are not supposed to be easy, they always suck. They are supposed to be hard so you think before you do it again.

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:10 PM.