Car over this relationship...
Ever been in a relationship where the man himself is great but the minimum wage woman ends up spending all her earnings on the couples food and car fuel (while the guy tinkers around with his car which takes more than half his paycheck for new parts because it dies every other week)?
I am that lady... we don't live together but I need some advice or suggestions on this relationship's money issues. He's sweet, he's loving, he's helpful, but he can't and hasn't ever had a full fridge. He usually needs me to buy gas to get me home since I live an hour away by car... public transit is not an option trust me.
He lives in poverty, is always asking his mom for money. Even when I was unemployed, I paid for food and gas. He himself makes a considerable amount more, but it's his damn car parts and gas which get him hooped.
What should I say or do? His rent is dirt cheap and his phone bill is around the same as mine, but he can't even pay that. He can't afford gas for pretty well anywhere and worst of all he can't afford us food. If he had food and gas, I would have no complaints. I already live in poverty with my father. As I searched for work and struggle to get into school, he plans on going to work at an oil rig, but how can I explain to him that his "lovely" car makes us unable to eat or have any fun, so he should move closer to work spend less on gas and sell and buy a new car?\
I know that's harsh but literally the stupid thing is he spends 3000 dollars on it like an idiot. It breaks every few weeks... or more. It's a dumb Honda which can be made into a speed racer basically as I understand it. He's a lover and protector, my best friend, and my emotional provider. I just want him to pay for gas and food every other week, costs 20 dollars for him to drive me home, and that includes his trip back.
He's the first guy my parents have actually liked. Sadly, his mother hates his junk car too as he then constantly borrows money due to its inefficient nature.
Is it time to say good bye?
I've been dating this man for a little over 5 months now and he's convinced me that I am the one girl he loves and wants to marry and be with etc etc. For a while I was creeped out when he stated these little tidbits and now I've started believing them myself. For the first time in my life I felt loved and admired. But now he's distant replies to my texts whenever he wants to ( he used to text me at 6 am in the morning when I met him, I didn't care for that) and he used to drive an hour to come pick me up for my visits with him now I'm the one traveling 4 hours to be with him.
I realize I may have started to be over lovey dovey but he did drill it into my brain an until I let my own guard down and allowed myself to become emotionally bonded. And he's a bit of an over spender. So I worry and nag about how he needs food and what's more important. I must be the crazy motherly girlfriend, but I just want what's best for him and makes him happy. I know that I've most likely pushed him away he's insisting every thing's fine and sometimes the money talk stresses him out ( I've been asking him to buy cheap things for when we move in together Which once again he insisted on and I bit, I've bought pots and pans and him a lot of things he hasn't bought anything).
So should I just worry less and stop replying to his texts like an eager beaver and try and occupy myself with life ( I'm kind of boring LOL I don't do a lot)? Let him come to me and do what he wants and stop investing so much of my heart into whatever brainwash he fed me? Or let him or I break up?
We had a fight last night about how I am feeling ignored like how he only now texts me once or twice a day has very little to say, and expects me to do all the talking. He never even phone calls me. So after he hit ignore on my first attempt at vocal talking in 5 days, he hits ignore again, as usual, and than something changed. I stopped caring like I didn't feel too hurt by it, and went on with life. He than calls me back. I let it end to the voice mail, than texted back after finishing my flossing that I was off to bed and goodnight. He phoned back and I hit ignore. I usually answer right away, and lately he ignores me when I call. Then claims to have been busy, or out of reach. I had to get him to fess to hitting ignore.
Being busy once and a while, hitting ignore is one thing, but doing it all the time is another. I'd appreciate an answer and hey hun I can't talk talk right now. That's fine but doing the ignore button to me is rude an hurts my feelings. I've only hit ignore twice and both times have been about him ignoring me for weeks on end. Even after he tries to reassure me it's all fine, how do I talk to him about this? I don't want to be the crazy clingy girlfriend.
I see him every two or three weeks and I don't want to be the boring mother girlfriend either please help and please be polite about it. He just texted me apologizing, but I still think I need outside advice.
