I don't have a boyfriend at the moment, but my last said that I was unaffectionate etc. And I've just met a new guy, and he said the same, so I don't know what's happening with us, but I really like him.

Family wise for me it was my mom being completely unaffectionate and my dad being the other extreme so it would result in for me and my 3 siblings not being affectionate at all, being angry anytime my dad is affectionate but at the same time wishing mom would do it just once. Now I feel so affectionate in my head but its just the actual action of doing it I find really really hard, I feel lost.

I wouldn't know what to do with my hands or the idea of being the person to initiate it is scary too. But I don't want to be like this anymore that's for sure. I feel so frustrated that I can think affectionately but I just can't seem to loosen up. Can anyone give me advice? :)

Before I give you any advice for this, is it possible that the guys you have been with were needy or insecure? Sometimes its not us, or our ways that make us a bad match with others but it's the partners we choose.

So how old are you, just to be sure of what we are discussing. I see more a lack of maturity and confidence on both sides more than I see a lack of how to express affection.