My boyfriend "J" and I both work at the same place. A particular supervisor "A" has -quite harshly and with very apparent scorn- "corrected" some detials in "J"s work concluding his beratement on these occasions with "That's insubordination and I can write you up for that." I know for a fact that "J" has not only never said nor done ANYTHING rebellious, defiant nor contemptuous but in fact, has been striving to be in compliance with "A"s demands regardless of how much minutae has been tossed in (to the point of obscuring actual goals in my opinion). I've overheard these occasions as "A" makes no effort to quietly coach but simply blurts these things out anywhere, anytime. Should I &/or "J" try to speak with "A" privately to ask him to please make his supervision constructive or should we simply record the events and take them to HR? Thank-you for your consul!

Apologies... In meant "Thank-you in advance for your counsel." I would like to add we both are just out of training at this job and are always puctual (Ok... early), don't complain when our breaks are forgotten, professional, courteous, respectful, and appropriately groomed and attired. I add this because others from our training group are abusing these privileges and rules and yet are not receiving any public reprimands as "J" is.

Talk to HR. Are you in a union?

Unfortunately no. There is no union there. (Otherwise I would definitely join it!) Thank-you ScottGem!

First YOU should do nothing, this is not you, and does not involve you. The company should not even discuss your boyfriends work details with you.

He has to do something if he wants to. Recording may violate your law unless the other party knows they are being recorded. He can go discuss the issues with HR.

Thank-you Fr_Chuck but please understand I was a witness to these events along with others and also I did not mean 'record' as in with a recording device but 'record' as in make a record of.

Or more precisely, 'record' as in document. Thanks for your advice.

The sad issue will be that you make a poor witness, since you have a relationship with this person. What you need is a third party that will hear and also explain this to HR.

But also remember, a manager is still a manager even if they are a bad one.