I took in my friend (female) because she was being kicked out of her place and I (female) didn't want to see her on the streets. I talked with my boyfriend because its our place. We agreed that it would only be for 6 months and its been 4. The reason I would like her to move out is because she has not contributed to any bills, food or gas money (I driver her to and from work when I can), and I am spending more money a week for food then I do in a month. She does by food... For herself, and eats ours as well. I have my own problems and bills and I can't afford to keep up with hers as well.

So how do you say to your best friend of 20 years to move out?

You tell her that you are letting her live there out of friendship but that taking advantage of you by not paying her share of the bills is not what a friend would do.

Tell her she needs to contribute, and tell her how much, or she will be needing to find somewhere else to live as you can't afford to have her there.

It sounds harsh, sure. She's your friend for 20 years but if she's not paying, then maybe she really isn't a friend. You have to do what you have to do.

If there was no agreement between the three of you as to who paid what bills, and how things were to be divided, when she moved in, it isn't likely that she would contribute now. Most temporary guests would contribute without having to be asked, and I wonder if that non-contributing trait about her, had something to do with her being booted from the last place.

If your question is how to get her out sooner, with two months still remaining, the attitude will likely be you are slighting her, so probably no matter how you say it, she won't take it very well.

If you can absolutely no longer tolerate her in your home, you'll have to just sit her down, and tell her that things are not working out, and you'd like her to move by such and such a date. She probably won't understand why you are doing this to her, so don't offer up a lot of reasons that are negative. Instead, say things like, you and your boyfriend simply cannot afford to provide for a third person, or you and your boyfriend need your place back with just the two of you.

If you can see yourself sticking out two more months. Also sit her down and make sure that she understands that you expect her to do/contribute for the remaining two months. Ask her if she has started making arrangements to move, and if she's done any checking for an apartment yet. Two months isn't a long time to find a place and make arrangements to move. There is nothing negative about expectations, because they are more than reasonable. Even if the guest had been ideal.

You don't want to start the process of getting her out on the very last day of the next two months, because you'll be facing more time with her in your home while she starts looking. Make things crystal clear.

I hope that when the end comes, that you won't be stuck with somebody you'll have to evict.

Hi little sister here's some Big Sister 63 advice; don't take in any more friends for fear of them being on the street nor lend them large amounts of money if you value keeping their friendship. From my experience, it is the surest way to end a life long friendship. Our expectations of them doing the right thing are two different things; especially when one is down on there luck. I learnt when you give; you give and do not expect something in return, but up to a certain point! Cause Im not a financial institution, nor a Saint. HA!

In this case, when you open your home to someone it does not mean you and your boyfriend forget setting some ground rules; that is a contribution to the household and expect the other person to wake up and think of it themselves, 4 months later! If you are laid-back about these things, don't get angry with her as she is only doing it because you guys have let her. Its no ones fault when you learn about these things.

To my thinking, 6 months is most generous of you and more than enough time to endure a third person. So for the next two months if you want to keep this friendship; Id be saying, hey friend it looks like we need a bit of financial help from you towards the gas each week, and if you wouldn't mind providing all your own food and transport to work from own on before you go, it would greatly help us out. If her answer is agreeable to this, you have a friend for life. If not you have a hic-up that requires you to be firm without blaming anyone, Im sorry friend but we are not in a good financial position anymore; and Im sorry but we need you to seriously look for another place within two weeks. Again its up to her, two months or two weeks, simple.

I would tell her that she's straining your budget and that four months in, she needs to be making contributions because you simply cannot afford to provide for her. Let her know that if she cannot pay for a third of food, fill your gas tank every other week (or however often would be fair) and start paying 1/3 of the rent and utilities, she will need to move out. If you're driving her to work, she's making an income and is taking advantage.

Let her know that you hope she will not confuse what you'd like to do as a friend, and what you must do because of your own financial limitations - you cannot afford to support anyone but yourself.

If she's offended, that's on her. As long as you don't talk about what a jerk and freeloader she is, and just talk to her about the financial need, she should be appreciative and glad to kick in. If she can't or cries or claims she can't afford it, you'll have to hold your ground and say, "I hope you recognize I've done all I can for you, but this isn't sustainable. Please make other arrangements by the end of the week because I just can't afford this arrangement".

Unfortunately, if she doesn't leave willingly, you might have to legally evict her.