My fiancé and I have been together almost 5 years. We were engaged in August of '10. We have a 15 month old son who our lives revolve around. We are really struggling to find conversation between us two. In addition to lack if conversation, we also don't seem to get along half of the time. It seems almost all arguments are things he complains about, but that is only my perspective.

We both say we want to fix our relationship, but I don't think either of us know how. We used to be so close and talk about everything, have the same sense of humor.. But it seems that the stress of being an adult and having adult issues has played a significant role in the deterioration of our relationship. We started dating at 19 and 20. Now at 24 and 25 we are so lost in our relationship. Any advice?

You might want to elaborate on this just a bit so people can have an idea of what kind of opinions and advice you need.

Edit- LOL... with the question changed, it really makes no sense what I said.


Editors note, Post left for future notifications

Say all these things to him what you are telling here, I wish it will help

Communication is key here, keep the lines between you open, a child seems to put a strain on a relationship. Even though it is a joyful experience it is a stressful one. If you go to church talk with your pastor or look into getting family counseling.

What are the arguments about? It takes two to argue so what are they and how do you react to them? I think without more info, and until you can talk and listen without arguing, I can only recommend that one of you have the good sense to shut up, and wait for a calm time to talk.

Setting rules for discussion is just a good practice with guide lines such as no name calling, or loud voices, and no blaming one or the other for an issue or problem, and being patient enough to let the hot heads cool down. More info would help.

Well he is and pretty much always has been short tempered. Not on an abusive way, just very type A. Like things a certain way, meticulous even. BUT, he expects me to keep things perfect in our home at all times. He will say that the apartment is a mess and I don't see what he sees. I work full time myself, and take take of our son after I get off work in addition to doing ALL the housework. I'm fine with that but I don't feel appreciated when I've done all these things and it still doesn't seem good enough. He works as a cop 3rd shift so it seems like he is always more tired than I am because he works harder longer hours etc. I feel the opposite. We both work hard in very different ways. He also pays our bills. As far as rent utilities etc. I pay my own bills, car insurance school loans and our son daycare and a few other things. So, money is an issue. He has over 10k in his bank account which isn't bad for 25. I have nowhere close to that. He also makes 2x as much as I do. There are clearly many factors in our relationship that are causing stress. I think one thing that bothers me the most is his immaturity. He very mature when it cones to budgeting, saving money etc. But, when it comes to our relationship he lacks maturity. He will sometimes mock me which blows my mind at almost 26 years old. He gets irritated for the dumbest things and takes it out on me ( he used to do that to his mother, I should have known). Is it possible to change a person? Maybe this stress of him being the primary bread winner is affecting him because he feels like he's not getting ahead (marriage, buying a house) and tar our future depends on his income ( for now until j get out of school in about 4-6 months). Then I'll be able to provide more financially. I'm hoping that once I finish shschool things will look up. Is that a pipedream??