So many times I still look back and I wonder who am I. Slowly I start to feel like something is watching me breathing down my neck as if I shouldn't know but my main question is what do you do with a valuable gift or present when its got more problems than solutions

It is not a gift Timothy. Something IS there watching over you, and it is also wanting you to delve further into these functions and abilities... abilities that do not originate from YOU.

My advice for you is to not only ignore a lot of these feelings/abilities, but also to actively suppress them and tell them to leave. This may even take some Christian counseling from a pastor, someone who is spiritually mature and grounded in the Word of God.

Yeah well I don't like preachers I don't know I've kind of been the type to figure things out myself I like the upright attention you have given to my questions it seems to hard to find that right type of christian or preacher

I'm sure you do have a bad taste in your mouth left by some preacher... most Christians and non-Christians alike do at some point in their lives. But our faith is or help is not to be modeled after a couple humans beings, who even though they are preachers, are still flawed people. My advice still stands, you need to find someone out there to help you with this, it's not something you need to live with. We all like to figure things out ourselves, but life is not meant to walk alone and believe it or not, there are some things we are not able to do ourselves.

Yes I do understand that much. And yes some of the things in my dreams as well as creatures that try to kill me that seem like some sort of crazy wonderland of evil at times I wish that I was never going through these things but being honest these things I have went through haven't killed me but have made me stronger mind,body,and spirit but yes I want to find a good church a good preacher and I want a different life but this part of my life as I said has been such a part of me that its like a superman journey <lol timothy or spike who should I be today for example of course> but yes in time answers will come and they have for better or worse but I still stand tall and I may fall but I get up grin in the devils face and walk away on to another test or journey for the past 5 years everyone in my family has been dying ever since I discovered this and now I guess I hate to say it but all that's left is revenge and some reason it makes me weak and have the want and need to die I don't understand all I know is that its after me because I know it's there and I will fight until I get called home if I have to.

The lack of any punctuation in your responses makes them very hard to read and understand. I suggest you slow down, THINK about what you are really trying to say. Like I said, there is hope that you do not have to live like this or with this happenings. If you are so set on figuring this stuff out on your own... what was the purpose of posting a question here in the first place? God is not putting your through tests with these things.

OK than. To try and figure it out I guess but why do you care anyway. You probably make enough money that you can take meds to keep from going insane don't start being a hypocritical jerk. I have been talking to you so much before with using. //?>,< etc. but fine your like the ones that outcasted me for the way I am.

I am simply saying that it is very difficult to read long responses when it is not broken down into sentences. I'm not being hypocritical or a jerk, I am just trying to fully comprehend what you are trying to say.

I don't need to take meds to keep from going insane because I know who I am in Christ Jesus. I don't allow myself to get confused by every spiritual situation. I'm not perfect but I am trying to help you, which you have to understand is very limited and difficult over the internet.

You are not an outcast and there is always going to be hope for you, but right now the best advice I can give you is to seek Christian Counseling. This is not something you are going to be able to fix or understand on your own.