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-   -   My boyfriend cheated, got a new girlfriend, then came back, should I believe him? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=636327)

  • Feb 15, 2012, 05:51 PM
    ecervantes3
    My boyfriend cheated, got a new girlfriend, then came back, should I believe him?
    My boyfriend and I me in high school 2 years ago and we dated for a year and a half. A few months into the relationship he would message girls on myspace and always flirted and got girls numbers and pictures of them. I would always confront him a about t and he would simply say sorry and that he would never do it again. I believed him. There was a point in our relationship where we broke up for a week and he ignored me and was talking to a girl as if she was his girlfriend. We got back together, but his flirting did not stop.
    I dealt with him flirting up until the summer of 2011 where he stopped flirting and I was finally his first and only priority. He called me 24/7, took me on romantic dates and was completely faithful. I would sometimes snoop through his phone and see if I would find what I did in the past, but I did not.
    Then a week before my birthday in November I found out he had a Facebook and was flirting once again and getting numbers. I was so outraged by this and I did not confront him I just dumped him. The pain was horrible because to me that is cheating. He always accused me of cheating and being unfaithful just to hide his insecurities and cheating addictions.
    We broke up and days later I found out he had moved on and started getting close with a girl he met on Facebook. A month later she was his girlfriend. Sad part is he kept it from me for that's month of November while trying to work things out with me and saying how much he loved me. In December he text me saying how he could no longer be my friend or talk to me because his girlfriend did not like it. Wow is what I thought because he basically said "I respect her more than you" I cried my eyes out for days and my anger and hatred for him grew. Yet I still loved him. Just recently he broke up with his new girlfriend who by the way was ashamed to be seen with her because she was on the heavy side.
    Now he wants to come back and he once again made me his 1st priority... I love him to death and he is super sweet to me and is doing everything possible to win me back. What should I do? People can change I know that because I know a couple is super happy now and he cheated on her more than once, but now they are going on their 7th year together and they could not be anymore happier.
    Please someone help me, I have tried to move on but it isn't the same what me and him have is a perfect bond. He is my best friend and I am his and I know he loves me. He has shared very personal things with me that not even his family knows about. Please help me someone.
  • Feb 15, 2012, 08:11 PM
    DoulaLC
    Do you believe him? Can you trust him? Would you still feel the need to check up on him if you got back together? He was sweet to you before and told you that he loved you, yet he still flirted with other girls, not once but numerous times, and you considered that cheating... so how is he different now? He lied to you and he also lied to his other girlfriend while being with her and still trying to be with you.

    How can you have a perfect bond when he has lied to you over and over?

    Stop and think for a minute... he could have been with you all along, but went on to be with someone else. Now that they broke up, he wants to come back to you. Maybe he needs to be on his own for awhile to figure out what he wants.

    Personally, I wouldn't be too quick to take him back given the past. I think you would be left wondering when history would repeat itself. Might be better to keep yourself available for someone that you feel you really can trust and not have to wonder about what they might be doing or who they are chatting with.
  • Feb 15, 2012, 11:18 PM
    indya
    He's a cheat. Down to the core. And from what I see it, he just came back to you because he had nowhere else to go, and not because of his 'love' for you.

    You've given him more chances than he deserves, just let go of him. Yes it will initially hurt to be away from him, but that hurt will be a lot less and only for a short period compared to the pains you will go through with being with this person.

    Do not believe his lies. And just because one couple you saw got their happily ever after, doesn't guarantee you will get one too, not with this guy at any rate.
  • Feb 16, 2012, 12:12 PM
    ecervantes3
    You both are right but do you not believe people can change? I'm not saying I am going to take him back so fast I mean I am considering my options and I doubt he went out with other girls while with me because we were inseparable for that whole time. 24/7 like literally all day, which is why I am dumbfouded as to why he felt the need to flirt and find someone else. I am an attractive girl, but lately all guys I meet want sex, and my ex just wants me for me which is why I am skeptical.
  • Feb 16, 2012, 01:09 PM
    mmresd
    Yes, people can change. But some people are not willing to. If you are wanting him to and are wanting to give him a second chance, you are going to have to trust him completely. No more phone checking, no more looking into his Facebook and personal life, you leave him alone and work on your relationship together. If you cannot do so, then the trust is not there, without that trust, there cannot be a relationship.

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