i want to be locked away from outside world
hi my name is kevin and for nearly 3 years I've been severely depressed I've been able to fight the depression with little missions to cure myself but none have worked and I've ran out of ideas when I was 19 I felt great id go out nearly every night and have a right laugh with ma mates in the pub work was very stressful but I combated it with a good night out I smoked 40 a day and drank like a fish but I felt great then suddenly my hair started falling out around the side of my head which is the area that used to burn when I got stressed at work, then I started to develop bier spotsall over my body which are lots and lots of white spots all over my body which I've seen countless gps and dermatologists and most don't know what they are and some say they can't be cured so that's a total mind f%^& and as they got worse I got worse I stopped hanging out with friends to the point I have no friends and haven't been out in nearly 3 years I go to work but I go str8 home and sit in my house all night and have done for nearly 3 years I've tried acupuncture, chinese medicine, gave up all gluten/wheat/dairy and I haven't smoked or drnak in a year and half and if anythign I've got worse ? :( I've got an itch all over my body that doesn't go away my eyebrows are extremely itchy and are fallign out and that's without me scratching them :eek: I used to get into fights for no reason a year ago when this all started and now I can't look people in the face and afraid of my own shadow I've tried suicide as well last year I jumped in front of a taxi but am still here and when I was asked if it was an accident I couldn't say I meant it as my family where there so I put it down to drink and not seeing the taxi to make everyone feel okay about it, I'm at the point now every morning I go tgrough a routine and if it isn't right I don't go out I feel suicidal everyday but don't do anything because of my family what can I do I want to be locked away in a peaceful room where I don't have to see people and I can finally let my guard down about all these incurable diseases as all I want is to be normal but there incurable so I can't ever be normal :(