I'm a 37 yr old man and my blackmailer has been bullying me and abusing me for almost 10 years now. I met my partner over 12 years ago and today we live together and share an amazing life. However I made the stupid horrendous mistake of getting drunk one night and sleeping with a much older guy. Even more stupidly I slept with him in the house I share with my partner.

Ever since then I've been bombarded with texts and phone calls saying I must sleep with him otherwise he will call over some night and tell my partner everything. The abuse and threats have gotten to the point were I am now not performing at work, having depressed feelings and constantly looking over my shoulders. When I do give in I have to drink at 8am in the morning so by the time I see my blackmailer I'm too drunk to have to care.

A lot of people will judge me and say "you made your bed so lie in it" and I understand that but I really can't cope anymore. I love my partner so much and we are so happy together that I can't bring myself to destroy his world and tell him what I've been doing with this horrible nasty blackmailer. Please help.

I won't judge you but tell you some courage and honesty will take the power from the blackmailer. Maybe your partner will hate you, but at least you can get back some dignity, and self respect.

A black mailer only has power over you if you allow it.

Any of these will get you out of it, and are many choices

1. So you just say NO, you don't talk to the blackmailer,

2. You take copies of his blackmail and give it to the police and have him arrested

3. You tell your partner and can not be black mailed any more

A relationship should be built on trust the harassment you need to put an end to no matter what you desrve to tell your partner what happened the truth because you wouldn't want him to do it to you would you? I say if you tell your partner that's a start by the way the way you are feeling is nothing but guilt make up your mind stop the situatiion pray about it you will come to agreemen with your partner stop drinking uncontrollaby ,u were drunk don't forget that either