I was only trying to help this girl get over her ex girlfriend and I end up falling in love with her.now before you make the judgment call that it's because she is bisexual that I like her it's not I didn't even know that she was until later. The unfortunate thing is she is extremely sickly and slowly killing herself off by doing drugs and practicing other bad habits. Her way of moving on is flirting with other people just to tell them that she is not "feeling it." this is rather new for me to handle because in most cases I have just been pushed aside into the friend zone after they found someone else and no longer need me so I lose contact evidently. In this case however she seems to stick around... She tells me everything from her abandonment issues to her tragic past with family and almost everyone she knows turning there backs. She puts up a big front that's almost stand offish but say something as simple as "i hate you" and it crushes her completely. I would more than love to tell her how I feel except for the fact that she won't let go of her previous relationships and I don't want to end up like those other people she left because of it. What should I do?

If she does drugs and other stuff it may be very difficult to reason with her. That's why all those "I love you" - "now I hate you" things. If you can help her become a healthy - both physically and mentally - person, do your best to help her. If you feel there is nothing much you can do, don't hang around because it seems she's been using you only to ease her own problems and not paying attention to yours. No one deserves to be treated without respect when they are caring and kind towards another. This relationship is not of two equal persons - one gives but the other only takes, it's wrong and almost always is doomed.

I have been helping her try to stay sober I usually one of the only times anything I say makes the most sense and no she hasn't been using me in fact in most cases she has a hard time accepting help and has mentioned before that she doesn't want me to feel used; in which case I don't if I did id say something. I am probably the only person she hasn't used as comfort food so to speak with the rest of the people she latched on to temporarily. Which is difficult because I am currently the only person she will cry in front of. When she is sober it's easy to reason with her but she becomes extremely sensitive and depressed I was conversing with her once and I hit a nerve that forced her to realize everything that was and everything that she is becoming, which was both a positive and a negative affect. Negative being that she said "i dont want to do this anymore it hurts" positive being that the very next day she had been much more open with me. The problem is she wants to solve her problems the way I have by running away and completely numbing herself from the world. But I keep trying to emphasize that no matter how bad you want to ignore it being numb is another type of pain because it's just a form of denial. The difference is I have come to accept it I am comfortable with my state of mind and occasionally during depressive times I find hobbies or activities that are not self inflicting to keep me from feeling as such. She is still at a point where she wants to get better and she has been doing better so far she has been a week sober. But she is still depressed the thing that frightens me is she is getting better at hiding it and I don't want to her to be in the position where I am... I really don't want to get better because I find no point in it already I messed up in so many ways that it has affected my family bonds which are now shallow, my friends who few still stay, and my reputation of nothing. However when I am with her I feel somewhat happy like there is a bond I haven't felt since my parents separated. When I am with her I feel like there is some good left in me still and that I must be doing something right. At this point I really don't care if she is with me all I want is her happiness it may break me a little inside seeing her with someone else but seeing her smile is all the more worth the pain.

Ok, without getting too deep into psychoanalysis which I admit I only know as a dummy, it can be assumed that all the good things you are doing for her, you are doing for yourself, hence the feeling of satisfaction you get from all this. But this is not actually the main point here, I guess. It is very noble what you are saying that you just want her to be happy no matter who with. But obviously this is not enough - if she keeps doing what she's doing, she needs more help, she needs professional help. You , both of you, must realise that alcoholism, drugs and depression are diseases and they need to be treated medically. Sincere conversations are very important but they are not enough, I'm afraid. Please don't ignore this and don't succumb to her objections to accept medical help if she doesn't want it. Remember - depression is a DEASEASE, IT MUST BE TREATED MEDICALLY. All the best to you both!

This relationship is dysfunctional. She needs help you are not qualified to give and your wanting to stay with her even if it means she may be with others is needy.
Be her friend but encourage her to get help and you need to care more about yourself and not be willing to suffer just to have her. That is not healthy.