As a child my dad worked offshore for a few months at a time and whenever he was home he was very angry and violent. Now that I am older I don't speak to him and rarely see him (my choice). That's some background.. I hate feeling this way and know it is wrong but I feel very possessive over my boyfriend. I didn't used to feel like this at all but slowly over time it has become worse and worse and now I am desperately trying to find ways to stop this. Maybe because my dad was never around much and never took much of an interest I react possessively because I am worried my boyfriend will leave me or neglect me like my father did? I don't know but I'm trying to find the root of my possessiveness. My thought process has become irrational as when he wants to go and spend time with his friends I feel sick in my stomach and don't want him to go. It might also be that I don't trust his friends nor do I like them so when he wants to go and spend time with them (which of course is his right!) I feel all possessive and jealous that he'd want to spend time with these people over me - of course again I know that it isn't healthy to be spending everyday day together and that everyone needs another outlet. But I always panic and fear that he wants to spend time with them over me and that he prefers them to me. I hate feeling second best which I know is selfish but I don't know how to stop being this way! It's not fair on my boyfriend and I honestly love him dearly. Thank you so much for reading, any advice is better than none so if you could please try and help me? Is there a link between my childhood and how I'm behaving now? Or is it just me? I really need some help, it's eating me up inside :(

Yup it's a link... a feeling of abandonment... tough love... you need a hobby one that gets you out doing things on your own... when hubby goes to friends house you go work out at the gym or go swimming get your hair done maybe treat yourself to something... feel sexy for him.. a little space is healthy no one wants to be confined.. sometimes you have to let things go and see if they come back before you know if they really want to be with you.Men need their space we like to be rude and drink beer when women arn,t around sometimes,we need to check out other girls when were with the boys and brag about how we are the man for them. Men like to be polite around women... every man puts on a different face around their girlfriend or wife than when they are with the boys... find something to do while he is gone... read... insense and yoga lol whatever give him a little space...