I'm 20 and a female. I have just became sexual active [have been 8 months] with a partner but have been masturbating since I was young, I remember it feeling kind of good but I would be on my stomach rubbing more on my pelvis, or the very top below my hip bones but in the middle, then anything else. I can't really be doing that with a guy so I have been trying clitoral stimulation and it just makes my leg shake but its very uncomfortable, if I tense up like closing my legs and stretching them out I can barely push something out but hardly anything at all and it doesn't really feel good its just a feeling. I'm also thinking I can't do that with someone else because they are in the way! And to be able to they'd have to stop but that would cease the orgasm all together. I've also tried to not stretch my legs and nothing, again that just makes my leg shake and is very uncomfortable and frustrating to me. Is there any possible way that I might have a hormonal imbalance at this young? Or is this normal to just not really be able to *** on my own? If I can't by myself how am I suppose to with someone else! I'm not sure if I really know how an orgasm feels but I feel like it should be something enjoyable right? Not something that just irritates you and puts you off to the whole thing

You seem to be putting a lot of thought into the mechanics. How much thought are you putting into the mental aspect of arousal?

Arousal and orgasm for females are mainly mental and start long before we ever get close to the physical aspects. Some women can even climax without ever being touched if they are mentally aroused enough. What do you find mentally stimulating?

Masturbation is a good way to learn more about our bodies. Even when we masturbate we should not forget that there is more to our bodies than what is between our legs. Explore your entire body.

With your partner, explore each other's bodies. Share fantasies. Don't stop exploring just because there was penetration. Try different angles and tempos to see what works best for both of you. Don't try to rush to a goal. To be honest, from what you have described, a slow rubbing/grinding (instead of pumping action) motion may work better for you.

Most women cannot orgasm from penetration alone. Many need the help of fingers or toys. They make rings of various materials (some even vibrating) that fit around the penis and may give you the stimulation you need.

Personally, I think you need to stop focusing on feeling good and having a orgasm. Masturbation is always the start of knowing what we like and don't like. What feels good and what doesn't. Is there other areas of your body that is sensitive. Like your breasts or your neck for example.

Talking to your partner about what you like and what you don't like. Trying different positions. Making love in different areas of your house can help... if you can do that without the interruptions. Like a running washing machine, in the shower. Using lots of lubrication also helps. For some talking to each other or talking dirty can also turn others on. Find out what works best for you and your lover.