My son and wife were here recently with baby daughter 6 months old. They live about 5 hours away. I prepared him his favorite dishes. He is my only son and I adore him very much. His wife is boring, standofish and a tomboy but I never had any argument with her. When I mentioned to my son I would like to babysit, even stay over, he told me I could go visit but that they could never leave me alone with the baby because I do not drive, I can't run , I can't hold him and in case of a fire what I would do? They said they could not take chances. Her mother babysits once in a while, though.
I felt very hurt because I always have these problems, back problem, unable to run or drive and I always took care of baby without problems. He was the love of my life. I always took the bus or train or a taxi and never had a problem. Going there now has no incentive because it seems they do not want to bond with the baby. It means they will always have to be present when I am there to visit the baby. And I do not see any problem with that, but don't you think they are being cruel and horrible. I feel so rejected. Didn't he grow up to be a successful professional with good values? He did. I made a lot of sacrifices to send him to college and to buy him a car, with limited resources but with unbounded love.. I always have been there for him in good and bad. He always has been good, gentle, humorous and patient with me. Do you think it is the mother?
I am crying as I am writing this because I was so looking forward to be in the baby's life as her grandma. I had made plans to be great friends and now I don't see that happening.
I retired and belong to some groups and travel a lot so it is not like I was going to be there all the time. But why is my son being so cruel now? I don't understand. Please help me as I am at a loss.

I think it is a complex that I see in too many new parents, most likely they read every book on raising children, most likely already choosing the right day school, that will help them get a child into the perfect private school.

My wife was that exact way, she keep a written chart of every diaper, every feeding and so on.

After about a year or year and a half, normally real life and common sense will come in.
But so, you hire a sitter to "be there" when you are there so they can go out. We don't let one of our family members drive our son still, they drive so poorly.

So stop thinking about what you can't do, and enjoy times you can be with your grandchild