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-   -   I can't get my girlfriend out of her shell (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=632257)

  • Jan 31, 2012, 08:14 PM
    sagick
    I can't get my girlfriend out of her shell
    Okay so my girlfriend is very nice and sweet. But she seems down recently and depressed. Whenever I ask her if anything's wrong she changes the subject. How do I get her to tell me what she is feeling?
  • Feb 1, 2012, 10:14 AM
    talaniman
    Sometimes you have to be patient until they are ready to open up about what's on their mind. Some times you have to tell them honestly you are worried and want to help. And sometimes we read our partners signals wrong. Hard to say without a lot more info, and background.
  • Feb 1, 2012, 07:00 PM
    mmresd
    Just be there in case she needs support, not much you can do if you don't know what the issue is. Putting pressure on her will only make her worse.
  • Feb 1, 2012, 09:18 PM
    sagick
    Thanks for the advice
  • Feb 1, 2012, 10:03 PM
    indya
    Just tell her, that if she ever needs help or if there is anything there to share, you will be there for her.

    And then let her be.

    She will open up slowly.
  • Apr 13, 2012, 04:21 PM
    sagick
    Girlfriend won't trust me
    Okay so my girlfriend isn't trusting me me because she thinks I like her friend. How do I prove to her that I love her and not the other other girl.
    Things I'm not willing to do so don't say these thing as ideas:
    Hurt the other girls feelings
    Be mean in any way
    violence
    Or break up with my girlfriend
    If anybody knows please type back immediately
  • Apr 13, 2012, 05:04 PM
    Ally96
    My (now ex) boyfriend had the same problem!
    Even when we weren't together and he found out about me and other guys, he got mad.
    Just continue telling her how much you love her and how much she means to you. Buy her some of her favorite flowers! Take her out dancing or something fun that she loves! I'm not saying that buying her things will gain her trust in you but it might just remind her that you care about her and how much you adore her.
    Tell her all the little things you love about her. Like, the way she hugs you... something small like that
    I hope this helped, good luck! :)
  • Apr 13, 2012, 06:43 PM
    mmresd
    Be the best boyfriend you can possibly be... if after that she allows her low self esteem and jealousy to make her paranoid there is nothing you can do.

    If she doesn't trust you now, and she is not willing to work on HER issues, I would recommend moving on. But of course, talk to her about it and see what SHE is thinking and WHY she is thinking in that manner.
  • Apr 13, 2012, 09:35 PM
    talaniman
    How old are you both? Is her friend hitting on you? Are you friends with her friend? Why is this a worry? Has her friend stolen her boyfriends before??
  • Apr 14, 2012, 02:57 PM
    sagick
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    How old are you both? Is her friend hitting on you? Are you friends with her friend? Why is this a worry? Has her friend stolen her boyfriends before???

    Teenagers. She and I had one time where she made me blush because of something really funny and my girlfriend noticed. This is a worry because her past 2 boyfriends were cheating on her. And no her friend has never stolen a boyfriend before. Thx for trying to help
  • Apr 14, 2012, 03:10 PM
    talaniman
    With a twice hurt you female, you have to be extra, extra, reassuring, and understanding. And that may not be enough. She has trust issues, and easily sees ghosts of the past, and requires an extreme amount of patience.
  • Apr 15, 2012, 11:33 AM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by sagick View Post
    okay so my girlfriend isn't trusting me me because she thinks i like her friend. How do i prove to her that i love her and not the other other girl.
    Things im not willing to do so dont say these thing as ideas:
    hurt the other girls feelings
    be mean in any way
    violence
    or break up with my girlfriend
    if anybody knows please type back immediately


    Please don't attempt to control the answers to your questions. If you don't want honest opinions, don't ask the question.

    How do you hurt the other girl's feelings if you tell her your relationship makes your girlfriend uncomfortable? That's not mean and that's not violent. That's not hurting anyone's feelings. That's beyond honest.

    I don't see that "being honest" is on your "can't do" list so I'm assuming it's an option.

    You may not get a choice - your girlfriend has enough, she's going to dump you. She's already quiet, not sharoing, and you don't know why?

    She's thinking about her next move.
  • Apr 16, 2012, 06:08 PM
    sagick
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    Please don't attempt to control the answers to your questions. If you don't want honest opinions, don't ask the question.

    How do you hurt the other girl's feelings if you tell her your relationship makes your girlfriend uncomfortable? That's not mean and that's not violent. That's not hurting anyone's feelings. That's beyond honest.

    I don't see that "being honest" is on your "can't do" list so I'm assuming it's an option.

    You may not get a choice - your girlfriend has enough, she's going to dump you. She's already quiet, not sharoing, and you don't know why?

    She's thinking about her next move.

    Considering she trust me now you're wrong. And you're way is actually basically how it worked so thank you but it was a little different. But also I did it with out looing at this first but thank you anyway.

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