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-   -   Boyfriend dumped me (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=63199)

  • Feb 15, 2007, 02:44 PM
    Little Star
    Boyfriend dumped me
    How do I get over my boyfriend of 6.5 years? He split up with me just before xmas and then said he made a mistake and we got back together. On new years eve he wanted time again. He dumped me a month ago. He said that he cared and loved for me as a sister. He wants to be friends but don't think I will ever be able to do this. Thought I would be feeling better by now but don't. I been trying to keep busy. Just cross after I supported him through so many things and we have been through so much together. I feel rubbish. Its like grief as if he has died. All my friends are married or in long term relationships and they have what I want. I just want to be happy again. Don't want to have to go out and start all over again. Scared of being rejected. I am a bridesmaid for his sister in July and dreading it. She has been so ill the last 2 years so can't let her down.My dress, shoes and hair clips have been bought. I live in a small town and so scared of bumping into him don't know what I would do.Keep bumping into people who don't know and they ask how he is. Thought we were made for each other. Had my future mapped out with him. Maybe I smothered him. He is 27 and I am 24. He said in August he wasn't happy and it kept cropping up every month always something to do with me not. He said sundays with me dragged. He was just looking for something to blame. He is such a lovely caring person and always thought it was to good to be true. I know he dragged it out because he didn't want to hurt me.
    Little star:)
  • Feb 15, 2007, 03:08 PM
    valinors_sorrow
    I am sorry for your loss Star. You are right in that it is grief just as if someone died. Grief makes us really very strange and fragile for a while. You are right to try to avoid him. I am glad you are considering your relationship with his sister apart from your relationship with him and not dumping on her unjustly. Just get through that as best you can, tough though it will be. Stay tight with your family and friends and take all this one day at a time. Your feelings will change a great deal over the next year. Don't date for a while, don't even think about it just now since you aren't strong enough. Take the time for you to let the grieving run its course so you can come out of it stronger, wiser and better able to meet life's challenges.
  • Feb 15, 2007, 06:10 PM
    yoyolb
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Little Star
    How do i get over my boyfriend of 6.5 years? He split up with me just before xmas and then said he made a mistake and we got back together. On new years eve he wanted time again. He dumped me a month ago. He said that he cared and loved for me as a sister. He wants to be friends but dont think i will ever be able to do this. Thought i would be feeling better by now but dont. I been trying to keep busy. Just cross after i supported him through so many things and we ahve been through so much together. I feel rubbish. Its like grief as if he has died. All my friends are married or in long term relationships and they have what i want. i just want to be happy again. Dont want to have to go out and start all over again. Scared of being rejected. I am a bridesmaid for his sister in july and dreading it. She has been so ill the last 2 years so can't let her down.My dress, shoes and hair clips have been bought. I live in a small town and so scared of bumping into him dont know what i would do.Keep bumping into people who dont know and they ask how he is. Thought we were made for each other. Had my future mapped out with him. Maybe i smothered him. He is 27 and i am 24. he said in august he wasnt happy and it kept cropping up every month always something to do with me not. He said sundays with me dragged. He was just looking for something to blame. He is such a lovely caring person and always thought it was to good to be true. i know he dragged it out because he didnt want to hurt me.
    Little star:)
    Hey LittleStar, I am going through a hard break up myself. I know it is hard to believe but over time, you will get stronger and be ready to move on. I am the girl who posted " Confused and need a male's perspective". I was very uspet, crying all the time and in disbelief of how my boyfriend could dump me after 4 years. His sister and I are still good friends but we do not talk about the relationship at all. Trying to be friends with him will only make things awkward and prolong the heart ache. Trust me I tried to do that and he only resented me in the end. Men are fickle and can be more emotional than women at times. I believe that if the love is true, you guys will find each other again and things will get better. For now, be strong, hang with friends, cry it out and remain positive. I know it's hard but if I can pick myself up off the floor and wipe the snot from my nose and dry my tears, I know you can too. Trust me, I was a mess!
  • Feb 15, 2007, 06:36 PM
    camryn101
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Little Star
    How do i get over my boyfriend of 6.5 years? He split up with me just before xmas and then said he made a mistake and we got back together. On new years eve he wanted time again. He dumped me a month ago. He said that he cared and loved for me as a sister. He wants to be friends but dont think i will ever be able to do this. Thought i would be feeling better by now but dont. I been trying to keep busy. Just cross after i supported him through so many things and we ahve been through so much together. I feel rubbish. Its like grief as if he has died. All my friends are married or in long term relationships and they have what i want. i just want to be happy again. Dont want to have to go out and start all over again. Scared of being rejected. I am a bridesmaid for his sister in july and dreading it. She has been so ill the last 2 years so can't let her down.My dress, shoes and hair clips have been bought. I live in a small town and so scared of bumping into him dont know what i would do.Keep bumping into people who dont know and they ask how he is. Thought we were made for each other. Had my future mapped out with him. Maybe i smothered him. He is 27 and i am 24. he said in august he wasnt happy and it kept cropping up every month always something to do with me not. He said sundays with me dragged. He was just looking for something to blame. He is such a lovely caring person and always thought it was to good to be true. i know he dragged it out because he didnt want to hurt me.
    Little star:)
    Wow. Something like this happened to me before. It wasn't as intense as this... But it hurt quite a bit. I can't tell you what to do, because only you can decide that. But I encourage you to try to go out and meet new people. Maybe not at first (because it may still hurt), but at least try. I can't say my opinion of this guy, but he doesn't seem like a jerk, just a guy who is confused. You may think you can't go on without him, but hunny, you can. You know you can. Just have a little faith in yourself. I'm sure there's someone out there who will love you with all their heart. And you will love him too. Hope I helped,
    Camryn :)

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