Ask Me Help Desk - My husband child's mother won't leave us alone

Hey All

I have been together with my husband for 8years married for 2 years and have two kids,
His child's mother won't leave us alone, the child stays with his mother in JNB we live in ELS but she still constantly phones for petty things like he needs to help her with her car, or help her with the brakes, he keeps on telling her she must not call him, she is not his responsibility but she still does, I tried talking to her nicely she does not listen, I am so tired of fighting with her and so is my husband, what can I do to make her realize she must leave us alone, my husband even tried to be rude with her, it did not help, I tried leaving her alone, she still forces, I AM OUT OF WAYS TO HANDLE THIS can someone please help and give me advise.

Quote:

Originally Posted by CherriD

Hey All

I have been together with my husband for 8years married for 2 years and have two kids,
His child's mother won't leave us alone, the child stays with his mother in JNB we live in ELS but she still constantly phones for petty things like he needs to help her with her car, or help her with the brakes, he keeps on telling her she must not call him, she is not his responsibility but she still does, I tried talking to her nicely she does not listen, I am so tired of fighting with her and so is my husband, what can I do to make her realize she must leave us alone, my husband even tried to be rude with her, it did not help, I tried leaving her alone, she still forces, I AM OUT OF WAYS TO HANDLE THIS can someone please help and give me advise.

I'll tell you what my friend did - her husband got a cell phone and gave the number ONLY to the "ex." When the phone rings he knows who it is.

She stays out of the fray.

The "ex" calls with all sorts of requests, he says, "right, um-humm, yes," and then goes back to what he's doing EXCEPT if it's a problem involving the child.

When the "ex" calls on any other phone they don't answer.

Would I talk to the "ex" about anything under the circumstances you have described? No. Let him deal with her.

My late husband's ex-wife used to call with downright craziness on occasion. I stayed out of it. I was civil to her because of his children, but I did not entertain her nonsense when it interfered in MY life.

Sometimes its so hard to stay out of it, specially if she does it over and over and over, he has two cell numbers one for work and then one for private, somehow she got hold of his work number and she is phoning him when he is at work, he comes home and tells me she phoned again, he even said to me he is tired of her, said when will she get it in her head that it is over and he is not her help support.

She finds ways and means to get numbers we tried changing telephone numbers,
There is no need for them to even talk about the child because he does not live with either of them.

Oh, I do understand. I would not answer any of he calls. I would tell her that her calls at his work are endangering his job and IF it becomes a problem - and perhaps even now - he will pursue her for harassment. And I'd mean it.

She sounds like very bad news.

There were times I had to clench my teeth so I know how it is.

You ignore her and tell your husband you want nothing to do with her or hear about her. If he can't handle his business any better than that after 8 years with you, he deserves the psycho treatment!

Hey judy, I will try, to avoid her and let her not make me this angry, she came to our house over the weekend just to ask him to look at her cars brakes, he again told her, I am not your mechanic go to someone who can help you cause I cant. I will tell my husband about your advise, maybe it could help us, both of us are so tired of telling her to leave us alone, tired of changing numbers to avoid her, some how she does not want to accept the fact that he left her for me and she needs to move on. She feels he is partly still responsible for her because of the child they share together, and you know what both my kids love their big brother to bits. I just hope in time she will realize that its time to move on with her life and start a new one. Or else I will get her arrested so she can get some professional help cause I think that is also what she needs

As advised, do not answer her calls. Use Caller ID and/or an answering machine to screen all calls. Do not answer calls from her or blocked numbers.

If she shows up at your place, then have him tell her if she doesn't stop bothering him, he file harassment charges against her.

I think that would be a great idea, sometimes my work phone from a private number or his, I will tell them in future I will not answer calls coming in as private or unknown, I will block her number and divert it which ever way will work, and I will inform my hubby maybe if he tells her about harassment charges going to be made, maybe just maybe she will leave us alone.
I never ever saw someone so hard up to make trouble really, and I think what makes her more angry is the fact that my husband does not give her her due,

Hey talaniman what is the physco treatment. Any advise would help if is something good

The psycho treatment is from the ex, and continues because he keeps it goig by allowing it.