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-   -   How do I get over my girlfriends past? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=630575)

  • Jan 26, 2012, 01:22 AM
    balgarade
    How do I get over my girlfriends past?
    Me and my girlfriend are going out since 1 year and I haven't been happier in my life this 1 year has been the best of my life and I love her a lot too. Before I asked her out she told me she hadn't ever had a boyfriend before and I was the first guy she ever fall in love with. When I told her for the first time that I love her, I told her that she is my first girlfriend and I hadn't been ever with a girl before or never ever touched a girl in any intimate way. I told her that I love her and she's the only girl in the world that I've ever said that too and that she's my first love. She replied 'i love you too and you're the only guy I've ever said to' and that I was her first love.

    A few days back she skipped something out of her tongue that she was with this guy for 2 years but they weren't going out it was only a friendship. Later on she told me that she has talked intimately with him too and they went for a movie and hung out together alone a few times. I freaked out. She told me that she had said I love you to two other guys before me.

    During my 1 year of relationship I loved her everyday more and she did too. I never asked her about her past again during that year and now she's telling me she had this fling. I have never made out with a girl except her she was the first one. I asked her again a few days back that if she has made out before me but she swore on me that she hasn't. I believe her but I'm at her for lying on the first day I ever said 'i love you' to someone. I always respected her for the way she had told me she was but now she tells me that she had a desperate phase on her. Whenever I try to get over her past she comes on telling me more stuff about her past that hurts me even more. I told her to open up and tell me everything at one time that I don't want to be behind a curtain anymore. She swore on me the last time we had discussed this topic that she didn't go out with this guy more than twice but yesterday she told me that she went this one other time too to a movie. I told her this is the last time I'm telling you to tell me everything that happened, but she keeps on repeating that I don't remember and that shell tell me stuff as she remembers it.

    This topic kills me whenever I think about it because she's the only person I've ever loved. Thoughts like her making out with that other guy come in my mind and it kills me even more. What I can't bear is 'why doesn't she tells me all about it in one go?' Why make me go through this hell. I'm in love like hell but I don't want to talk to her for this, for lying to my face that she hadn't said ' I love you' to a guy before. What should I do :(
  • Jan 26, 2012, 09:25 AM
    talaniman
    You are very foolish to think any one will just give you all the details of their past when they know you can't handle it, or it will be used against them. So don't be stupid and keep going down this silly useless path. She probably would have come clean if you were not such an insecure nut that demanded all the details. You have been in love for a year with your first girl, and think you have a right to act like a kid that has discovered the candy gives them a bellyache if he eats too much, yet you go all crazy over some small dumb stuff and foolishly push for more dumb stuff.

    Gosh guy, control yourself, and the immature demand to know it all, and just be the kind of real man who can let her speak of personal things in her own time and pace, as she gets more comfortable. That's the problem fella, you are to inexperienced and out of control, and the boundaries of good behavior. Can't you see she is afraid of your young dumb A$$?

    Back the hell off, or go get a certified virgin. If you are this foolish over small things, what would she expect of even bigger issues, a bigger fool!! Sorry to be harsh, but your love is immature, and true love is about acceptance and understanding. Not demanding, anger, or ignorance. You have no right to demand a damn thing, but you do have a right to leave. That's the extent of it.

    I think you would understand if you had more experience yourself, you don't, but should she suffer for your lack of understanding? I don't think so!
  • Jan 26, 2012, 10:52 AM
    Fr_Chuck
    Stop asking her about her past, that was before you meet and NONE of your business. If you act like a total fool demanding to know everything, she is more likely to make up and lie about all sort of sexual affairs since she gets tired of you acting so immature.

    I am not sure if you are 12 or what, since adults as they mature understand people are in relationships, if yours does not work out, then guess what, a women with the same demands that you have, will see you as spoiled goods.

    So tell her you are sorry, don't ask about her past, if you can not get over it, you most likely will never find anyone.
  • Jan 26, 2012, 08:21 PM
    jess2202
    Humm... well this relationship sounds immature. And honestly what happened in people's past before they met you is none of your business and what people think and do is none of your business if it doesn't concern you
  • Jan 27, 2012, 08:58 AM
    balgarade
    Thank you for all your advises =D I know I'm a jerk for making her past an issue. She loves me unconditionally and a lot. I can't be happier than this with anyone THAT I know so making her past an issue would screw us. I get insecure sometimes because she's too awsome for me and I consider myself too lucky to have her. That is my only insecurity which gets me jealoused sometimes. I'm awsome now. I apologized to her for getting low at this whole thing even though I never tried to make her feel bad about it. But I opened up =D
  • Aug 15, 2012, 10:59 AM
    ponghan
    Whoever you are, I felt pittied for you but at the same time don't forget that there are millions of girl around you who wants to love you more than her.

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