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-   -   Adoption of my daughter by her step father (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=63037)

  • Feb 15, 2007, 02:09 AM
    jaya1
    Adoption of my daughter by her step father
    I have remarried legally in register office for the 2nd time, since I am a legal divorcée, I have a girl baby, which is 5 years old from 1st husband, her bio-father has not taken up any responsibility and even visiting rights, since he also got married and settled.

    Now my 2nd husband wants to adopt my daughter, can he adopt and become legal father to my daughter, without my 1st husbands approval, because I have not met him after divorcée, and I don't know where he resides.
  • Feb 18, 2007, 09:27 AM
    sexybeasty
    I had a son as a result of "date rape", The guy was completely clueless and acted after the "act" that it was mutual. Weird. Anyway, the guy had a host of other problems, like rampant drug use, even at work and heavy drinking.

    Needless to say, I did NOT contact the man when I found out I was with child. I had never considered abortion, as I am against it for myself. I DID consider adopting my baby out, but I received help from my folks, and decided to keep him. It was the best decision of my life.

    As my child was growing up, I explained to his that meeting his bio dad was out of the question as he seemed to be an addict and I couldn't trust my son's safety to that man.

    When my child turned five, I got married to a wonderful man. He wanted to adopt my son, but it was impossible to do so without the bio dad knowing. As I stated before, my son's bio dad knew nothing in the first place, and he lived 3000 miles away, so we were pretty safe from him finding out.

    When my son turned 16, after he found out the whole truth of the matter, and I mean the whole truth, (too many questions and much finger pointing at me... I decided the truth was better and I do feel that the bio dad was not aware of my perception as he had been a drunk, so my explanation was laced with compassion and understanding).

    Anyway, after that, my son still wanted to contact his bio dad. It came to pass, and they have a good friendship. The decision to not contact him before turned out good, too. The man was talking graphically about his sexual conquests in the beginning of their relationship. I monitored the phone calls and had long talks with my son and the bio dad.
    Some people never grow up and that is the case of this man.

    In contrast, my son's real dad, the man that raised him, took him to baseball practice, helped him to stop wetting the bed by getting up several times in the night with him,and the man who would cut his righ arm off for him DID in fact adopt my boy... when he turned 18. They both wanted it. It was always promised to them. Nobody's feelings were hurt, as the bio dad doesn't have to know.

    In conculusion, you can promise an alult adoption and let your hubby raise your child with the love he is now giving. I believe it has sooo much meaning when the adoption is mutual between two adults. It was a beautiful thing in our family.
  • Feb 18, 2007, 10:23 AM
    Fr_Chuck
    The court will require you to attempt to find him and get him to sign over his rights before they will allow for the adoption to take place.

    If after a serious search ( and you will need an attorney to help you though the legal requirements of searching) you can post in the legal section a notice of this adoption.

    It can go though if you can't find him, but normally they can be found.

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