Hi, lately I kind of have been feeling depressed, I kind of do know the reason and I kind of don't. I am about to graduate, I completed 4 years with of high school in only a matter of 3 months, but I always feel I am stupid. I am upset that I have to wait until fall for college and it even saddens me that I feel I won't make it even though everyone thinks I will. I always feel lonely and sad but when I am with friends I consonantly hide it with a fake smile I suppose. I have been home schooled for 3 years and never really had the chance to enjoy high school experience even though I keep telling myself college will make up for it. I always see people going out (although it seems most of my friends just stay home and play video games) but I lack a job and a car at the moment. I tend to always sit there and question myself, why am I alive what am I suppose to accomplish (I never think of suicide so don't worry about that). I always feel I am worthless but I try to shrug it off and keep moving, I have no love in my life, I am somewhat a feminine guy so I never look at woman in the same way as other guys would. What do you think is wrong with me? What should I do?

Haay! Don't act like that.. You are really smart to finish high school very early like that. And there's plenty of people who go through these situations. Im not a expert on this but just keep your head up(: it will be better in the long run and look forward to life

I think it is normal to wonder why we are alive and think about that. I think everybody has wondered about that at least once it their life. The thing is it shouldn't become an obsession. One shouldn't be thinking of that all the time.
If you find it difficult being happy with your friends and being happy in general, maybe you are a bit depressed? How long have you been feeling this way?
Maybe you could try talking about it to a therapist?
I find it difficult to be happy with my friends as well and put on a happy face because one isn't aloud to be sad. I've been seeing a psychiatrist for 4 years and he helps me a lot. If you need advice, you can ask me.
Julia

PS: what do you think you might be scared of?
Julia

@jujulia What I am afraid of huh? I suppose the thing I am afraid of the most is failing and letting myself down. Never being able to enjoy life and make found memories and great friends. I suppose the biggest flaw for me at the moment is I have to wait for college, and that will take some time and so I am going to just grab a part time job just to help secure it. I suppose another fear is love, but I suppose that is always everyone's problem at times, I am the type that is sometimes shy but I am also feminine I never look at woman in a wrong way and I always respect them and when I talk to them its always eye contact and nothing more. I always walk every morning and I always think about life, school, friends , etc. I have my on and off days I just suppose I feel that the future will be much more difficult then what it really will be.

Do you like learning stuff? Maybe you could learn something new, like a foreign langage or science or medicine or psychology or general knowledge or politics or whatever you find interesting. That could help you have confidence and stop you thinking that you are hopeless and don't know anything.
What do you find difficult about the future?
The future comes little by little, you don't suddenly go from the present to the future without warning. The future comes gradually and you don't even notice that it has come. The future seems difficult, but one learns to do things little by little and learns more about life little by little and so the future isn't has difficult as expected in the end.

So why stop studying, there are accredited online college courses, there are advanced classed for high school to go back over. Learn another foreign language. There are always things to do.

So you don't have a job, Go get one. And no car? Not sure where you live, but bus or bicycle, are ways to get around.