He is not on the mortgage or deed and has decided he doesn't need to pay me any money to live in my house

So... plenty of wives don't pay their husbands to live in their house... the law works both ways.

You will find VA is a community property state... unless you owned this house outright ( no mortgage) BEFORE you got married... its half his no matter whoes name is on it.

And the Divorce court will usually say as much in a divorce decree when you actually get one.

You did say husband... not ex-husband. And I think you omitted a lot of information important to what you are trying to ask.

He signed a post nup saying he wouldn't take anything that's not his, his name is not on the deed or mortgage. He's stopped paying me living expenses, he's employeed full time. He can't afford 1/2 the mortgage and didn't put any money down towards my house.

So you can't have it both ways... You can't expect him to pay for something you expected him to not own part of.


First off, If I misunderstand any part of this, then please explain...

You wanted the postnup, you wanted everything separate... then he is actually honoring your wishes... why should or would he be under any obligation to pay any of your living expenses if your postnup says nothing is his, that he doesn't fully pay for?

Just trying to understand what the problem is... I only kow what you have told us...

You made him sign a postnup (he was foolish to sign in my mind).. that the house and everything yours is yours... but you aren't happy because he won't pay for stuff that's not his? If I misunderstand, then please explain..

Because I see (in this post) it as what's your is yours... but what's his is yours too?

You might want to consult a lawyer... because VA is a community property state, you can't simply make someone sign away their rights to everything. Just calling it a pre or post nup... doesn't make it legally enforcible in court if its not properly drafted up per state guidelines.

And the fact you have a mortgage and didn't own it outright (as in paid off) pre marriage complicates your part of the case.

There are certain things that are exempted from community property... such as assets fully owned pre marriage, including savings (again pre-marriage), and inheritances... I'm sure there are a few more too...

I don't see that a post-nup (or pre-nup, for that matter) controls who pays what DURING the marriage. Did an Attorney draft the document?

Plenty of people have post-nups (or pre-nups) to protect the one with the most assets in the event of divorce.

You need an Attorney at this point.

My post nup states he gets nothing - what's his is his and what's mine is mine. I bought the house before we were married and I have my Dad on the deed with me. Right now, he's living in my house without even helping to pay for water/gas/lights/food/cable. He's been paying me a minimum amount monthly and stopped paying that in December. He says he'll tell the judge he was drunk when he signed the post nup - his friend is the notary who witnessed it. My attorney drafted the document and I gave her a signed copy.

I don't want him to pay my way - I just want him out, I can take care of myself just fine.

All I want is for him to leave, when he's drunk he threatens me, nothing specific,just stuff lke he's going to invoke his wrath upon me.

Then file for a divorce and ask that he be removed from your house. He's abusive. You can't live with him. He should leave - and I'm sure the Judge will agree.

Again - the postnup rules when it comes to a divorce, not who pays for what during the marriage.

So - he'll walk away with whatever he walked in with and you'll remain "whole."

As long as you are married to him, you cannot kick him out of the marital home.

So you first have to file for divorce. As part of the divorce proceedings you can ask that he be required to move.

Thanks to all, I have called an attorney and am waiting for her to call me back so I can make the appointment and start the process.