My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years now, when we started dating we used to have sex all the time and then shortly after he attended a seminar about building better relationships he decided that we should focus more on building friendship, trust and a better bond with each other without sex in the equation to have a stronger relationship. I completely understood the whole concept and went with it for a while, but now were wayyy further down the line and bought a house together and its been like two months without sex now, he's always tired and put on about 30 extra pounds and never works out anymore and I'm worried things are just going to stay like this. I've tried talking to him about it and it just upsets him and he tells me he's tired and stressed and I have bad timing, but I also hate ALWAYS being the one who initiates sex all the time,what can I do to make him desire me? I'm a very sexual person and he used to be, and I hate that he isn't anymore and I want to change that because I'm getting so bored with this. Someone help.

Book the both of you into a bed and breakfast for a weekend and make it just about the two of you for the two days. Get him away from the house and the job.

ill definitely try something like that in a month or two, right now we just bought a house and are remodeling and moving, so something like that is going to have to wait =o(

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Originally Posted by ShortNsweet86

ill definately try something like that in a month or two, right now we just bought a house and are remodeling and moving, so something like that is going to have to wait =o(

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Renovating/remodeling puts a lot of stress on a relationship.

Heck... Renovating/remodeling is a heck of a lot of work for him... having done it myself, after a fulltime job, and coming home to that all night... dancing the horizontal bop IS pretty far from your mind. Particularly since we are talking weeks or months (maybe more) on end and not just 2 or 3 days.

Trust me... its probibly NOTHING more than that... so don't take it personal. Exhaustion is an effective damper to the male libido.

Maybe despite all that you guys are doing, maybe he needs the friendship, and bonding thing. I mean that's something that has to last a lifetime right?

That gaining 30 pounds though doesn't sound healthy, but what's more apparent is a couple that can't resolve issues through talking and listening. Especially busier ones with a lot of things on their plate.

You aren't pregnant are you, and do you work? Are there kids already?